Grats

I am grateful:

1. Got to airport on time
2. Had all paperwork needed
3. Got great seat on plane. Window.
4. Unobstructed view.
5. And seat between me and my neighbor was empty!
6. I slept on the plane.
7. First time ever.
8. And NO fears. Why? Probably because of all this daily “work.” So much fear has been lifted!
9. L had written to me at 4am!
10. I wrote back
11. And left message
12. And he called! I got to speak with him from airport
13. Now I’ve settled into hotel
14. And emailed him
15. and M
16. (and J whom I had to answer – about my mother…)
17. I can do my spiritual work now.
18. And tomorrow.
19. But then from tomorrow at about 4pm NY time, til Mon eve or Tues morning, I will be off electronics! Better for retreat that way.
20. Already feeling better about teeny, up and around and up and around little tiny labrynthian-to-get-to-it room.
21. And finally have eaten something (British Airways seemed to differ if their interpretation of food, from me : )
22. My taxi driver was an angel!
23. Took my out of way, after I seemed excited about London (and am!), and after he asked if I’d want, to see things. A private tour!
24. Buckingham Palace
25. Westminster Abbey
26. Big Ben
27. Parliament
28. Hyde Park
29. Clarence House
30. Harrods
31. Harvey Nichols, … … …
32. And all are MUCH bigger and brighter and clean looking than they have always looked to me on tv.
33. And I saw Alfred Hitchcock’s house.
34. And am staying right by the Abbey Road Studio!
35. But that crosswalk (from the Beatles’ album cover) looks smaller to me than on the cover. (Although there were fewer cars around it then)
36. I’m not so comfortable in this itty bitty and hot room, that I had to go through a maze to get to! But – that’s good because I know I’ll learn something/grow from it.
37. Plus, it will help encourage me to go out and DO things
38. The whole city looks brighter and whiter ad cleaner than I’d imagined, and than the way I see NY.
39. Everything’s very expensive. I don’t know how people live here (I don’t just mean pounds to dollar exchange – I mean real estate etc.) But it’s pretty!
40. And more spread out than I’d imagined
41. And not so high. Yay.
42. L’s handsome picture (with me, on my b’day) open here on my computer.
43. My taxi driver was an angel! Took me on the tour – but also – I stupidly took out a thousand dollars in 20’s, 50’s, and 100’s in the exchange place at night in the dark alone with the guy who works there. My driver came RUNNING in, and stood over me like a bodyguard, counting over my shoulder!
44. When got back into car, admonished me to NEVER do that again – anywhere!
45. And took me so I could pick up Indian food take-out and watched over me while I did that too!
46. Here, they are run by the police, and very safe, I think.
47. Plus it takes 4 years of training, and they are reviewed…
48. Tomorrow I will have a few hours before anything. Will go to museum or see if can get tour of the Tower.
49. Saw some past-violent places too. Wonder why people do such things?
50. Having really bad red wine in room right now. Really bad. But – better than the bathroom tap water! : )
51. Know will have vegan food dinner tomorrow through lunch Monday at the retreat
52. Will figure out a way to spend next Fri night and Sat and Sat night at L’s (regarding mother, J, etc. – oi)
53. Am okay inside. Oh my dear Lord, am I ok inside????!!!! Woooowwwww!
54. I even managed the underground – like 3 levels under! – public transport and baggage claim!
55. M having given me this fabulous suitcase!
56. And those vegan bars
57. And nuts
58. And cranberries
59. And that *I * have made a drawer of stuff *I * bought, that L. will have at my house!
60. And that I did manage to straighten enough.
61. And in that way too, can relax while I’m here.
62. And I have no idea what’s coming for me. I mean, if my life can be – FEEL – THIS DIFFERENT than a year ago, who knows what’s coming
63. And I think that I *will * get an awful lot out of this retreat experience.
64. And even the uncomfortable parts…
65. That I am safe here
66. That I am online
67. That I think I can sleep
68. That I am healthy
69. And well
70. And people have been so nice to me today
71. At the airport
72. On the plane
73. After the plane
74. In the taxi
75. In the Indian food takeout place
76. In the hotel
77. That I am smiling and laughing
78. And tomorrow I should see Thich Naht Hanh!
79. That I spoke with M today
80. That I feel the breeze now through the curtains
81. The night is cooling off (as the reception desk guy said it would)
82. That people have been honest with me so far, I think, here.
83. Ex I asked the reception guy what I should give him for carrying my bags up and he said, “We don’t do like America. You don’t have to tip!” Nice
84. I will, at the end. But it was nice.
85. Eyesight!
86. That I remembered my drops
87. And pills
88. And can call and see if can work out something better food-wise for trip home
89. That feel like resting
90. And am not panicked/panicking about anything
91. And that when left message with dr that could send check, since had to cancel yesterday, he left message back and said, “Forget about the check. You can do that when get back. Just have a nice time.”
92. All the years I had with J
93. All the time I’ve had alone. Really
94. The time I have now with L
95. And – although it could be fun, I’m grateful that it is NOT every day
96. Is every week and that’s right, I think. At least for now
97. But that I’m not celibate anymore!
98. Gonna sleep with little breeze on me. At home, bedroom window is like 2 feet off the ground, so I never do
99. That I think I *will * continue to lose weight.
100. And lots of people don’t think I’m ugly.
101. Grateful for you!
102. And for London! ~*~*~*~*

and must go to sleep now:) but grateful that probably can:)