CoDA Morning Work Today

I got up, made and had coffee, did grats and other work here and some e-mails work and personal, and I feel:

Vulnerable, SHAKY, ill, nervous, pressured, overwhelmed, frightened, uneasy, anxious, numb in a way, apologetic, rejected, jittery, doubtful in a way, tense, bothered.

and
Humble, powerless, willing

and
Worthy, open, brave, forgiving, blessed, divine, hopeful, grateful, empowered, sacred, gifted, alive, valuable, capable, valued, affirmed, inspired

I think it is because:

First stuff: Feels physical. Bowel stuff plus jittery inside. Think it is surely related to nervousness about the amount I have to do today tom. and Sun.
And of course J.
And somewhat, the things this new therapist is asking me to do.

Middle stuff: Food and eating and all program stuff.

Third stuff:
Thank God! Lots of better things here! M. has added so much. And I am feeling whole and alive and I think it is because of all my support systems - 2 therapists (temporarily), anti-depressant, friends, 2 programs, books, YOU...
doing the right things regarding my mother, work, friends, and hard stuff
my self-honesty,
and my hard work here
Beginning to become more myself.

Thank you, God.

5 good things about me.
Ick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Try - try -

1. I'm self-honest
2. I'm fair
3. But "When mercy seasons justice." I'm that way.
4. I'm hopeful. J used to call me, "The 8th Dwarf: Hopeful."
5. I'm funny.

Okay done. Ick.