CoDA

I feel:

mixed up

somewhat better somewhat sick, somewhat scared, somewhat hopeful, glad for the time to rest and relax today, hopeful that MA will bring the groceries, very glad that I did grats, not nearly as bad as the last two days, and very grateful for that, nervous about self and life, feel capable of enjoying some - lots of - things though, scared of old age and alone/lonliness, somewhat safe in spirituality, grateful for reiki

don't know what could be doing differently while sick

5 good things about me

~i'm vegan
~i'm sincere
~i'm honest (just not with mother about J, because will torture her - and not with bitch-sister about it because she'll let her know and cause all kinds of trouble - but i have spoken with therapists, buddhists, and priest about it and all agree with that one)
~every time of crisis so far, I HAVE made it out of it
~i have friends, here and in person