Grats

I am grateful:

1. Fabulous, (though tough: ) session with the new therapist yesterday. Wow. My head is kind of reeling. I’m grateful for it.
2. M seems to be keeping strong about what she has to do.
3. I am there for her.
4. So are many others.
5. I am feeling stronger.
6. I have many (too many lol) plans for the weekend. But that’s much much better than feeling isolated, lonely, useless, bored and depressed.
7. Tomorrow, either I’ll work (for money) or the weather will be prohibitive and I’ll read all day
8. I have 3 great books now!
9. And maybe see M a little
10. Sunday I have OA
11. And I’m ushering for O’s concert in the afternoon.
12. And of course I’ll see my mother
13. And do laundry
14. and cook something
15. and a bit of shopping.
16. But I CAN do it. (Right? : )
17. I have now told two cousins about the separation
18. I have the best French teacher in the world for the summer! (And after if I want).
19. She’s far away, and expensive, but giving me a reduction plus I LOVE her plus she has a way for me to only have to see her once every 4 – 6 weeks. I’m so excited.
20. So I’ll take from one person through June, and then perhaps switch. I’m so excited! Doing this just for me! Love love love the sound of French! Always have!
21. I can walk
22. I can talk
23. I have a myriad of experiences that make me me.
24. Everyone is worthwhile. Therefore I am worthwhile.
25. I just breathed a deep breath.
26. I have better plans for next week’s teaching. I’m good, but in terms of their behavior (really rough class), I have an idea and will incorporate it Monday.
27. B felt much better yesterday.
28. Buddhism.
29. Honesty. I am so incredibly tempted to stay home today. Exhausted, some diarrhea, nervous, blood in stool, more to do than time, changes yesterday in plans for today (I’m not in classroom today but elsewhere at work for this one day)…and I want to cuddle up here and read. But I will do the right thing. And I’m glad for that.
30. That K. got back to me. I thought I’d lost my cousins (long story – I did nothing wrong). But it was just that my e-mail had been junked.
31. Also so glad she found it.
32. That other K and Jo are helping me next week with computer!
33. That M. feels I am her sister. (She has only a brother). This is not a fly-by-night thing. We have been friends for over 10 years.
34. That I feel she is my sister too.
35. Finally, it’s like I have a sister.
36. I’m about to do her a big favor for her, but it won’t even cost me a thing. Wonderful.
37. She bought me the same socks she bought her mother. Hearts and word love. Gave yesterday. Made me feel so special.
38. Her class loves me and loves working with me.
39. I’m very nervous today – and funky dreams that I can’t even remember – but I know these feelings don’t last forever.
40. Great sub plans for today while I’m out at math
41. Since I just yesterday found out I have to present next Friday, I’m sure glad I’m not as shy as I used to be.
42. Boggle
43. Scrabble
44. Word mine
45. Art
46. Acrylic paints
47. Green vegetables
48. Water. Access to plenty of fresh, clean water
49. My hands
50. How much typing helps calm me
51. My OA sponsor
52. Hope.
53. My brain
54. My eyesight
55. The desk in the den
56. And that it is neat
57. Children
58. Puppies
59. Kittens
60. My dream about the parrot and tiger and tiger cubs. I remember that one now and I loved it.
61. And people liked me and I got along fine in that dream.
62. People who rescue animals.
63. Trees
64. Oxygen
65. Freedom
66. No more slavery in our country!
67. People who care.
68. My own compassion growing.
69. Wonderful aides.
70. Letting little E drum yesterday. It was fantastic.
71. And just writing his – very difficult – mom about it.
72. I know I am good at work.
73. Wow. That’s huge.
74. My voice. I remember not having it (physically) and am so glad I do now.
75. So many gifts in my life.
76. Doggie. Even though I won’t see her this weekend.
77. Don’t know why O seems to have no time for me since Christmas! But am grateful that I’m ok with that. That’s a biggy for me.
78. Plenty of good food.
79. A house
80. Heat. Especially last night.
81. Lights.
82. MA’s health hopefulness
83. Parties
84. Car
85. Being able to drive
86. Sunglasses
87. Meditation
88. Children who have painted pictures for me and given them to me
89. That I’ve been on a cruise.
90. That I’ve been to beaches
91. That I have seen two oceans
92. Medicines
93. People who are helping the earth
94. G. and what he did for us years ago.
95. Life
96. The fact that I am finally grateful for my life
97. Sleep
98. Not the fatigue of last week
99. Both my programs
100. My devoted therapist who has such integrity
101. Integrity period