Grats

I am grateful:

1. That I thanked God for me waking up today.
2. That I do not feel like I did Fri and Sat! Emotionally especially
3. That I was able to work yesterday
4. And am today also.
5. That just from these online innocent flirtations, I’m learning things about myself.
6. That nothing is all THAT important.
7. The book title that goes one further and says, “Don’t sweat the small stuff. And remember, it’s all small stuff.”
8. Gave kids great day yesterday.
9. Gave M great offers and she feels comforted by them.
10. That J called about my mother wanting to sign out AMA (against medical advice) which would mean no at-home services. He had calmed her down a lot.
11. Then manager called me and I asked him right away to put us on speaker because she was sitting there and I didn’t want her to think we were talking “about” her. I think that was smart.
12. That I listened while he re-explained the situation.
13. And that I said FIRST (and she could hear): “Mr. ___, my mother speaks for herself. Everything I say is only MY OPINION. It does not mean my mother agrees with it. You understand.” And he said yes. And I heard her say yes too.
14. And then RIGHT AWAY I said, “Mommy, the most important thing you know is that it is your right to leave at any time. I am only giving you my feelings. But YOU get all the decisions. You believe me, right?”
15. And she said yes. That’s important. She doesn’t trust my sister (and she’s smart not to – she loves her, she just doesn’t trust her).
16. And she said, “I’m willing to lose the other help. I want to go home.” And I said, “And you can. Can I just talk it through a little with you first?”
17. And she – said yes. Phew.
18. 15 minutes of talking later, only trying to convince her to CONSIDER staying the two extra days, she said, “I will stay until Thursday.”
19. I am so proud of her!
20. And so grateful for the time J put in
21. And so proud of myself for finishing the job.
22. And relieved. Phew.
23. And I had a French lesson.
24. I literally look forward to this all week. Something to look forward to is important to me right now.
25. And it was great. I learned cool things.
26. And my pronunciation is quite good. I am told by a number of sources: )
27. And I’m smiling right now!
28. My legs
29. Ability to exercise. It’s amazing how sometimes I’ve wanted so much NOT to do something (work – exercise - …) until I couldn’t. Then I realized how important it is and how much I DO want to!
30. That my system seems to be getting back to normal.
31. And I’ll see my MD today.
32. I *will * get my health in order!
33. That I am *doing * this work. I really don’t feel like. But I *know * I need the cumulative benefits!
34. Plus it’s a good way to spend the time anyway.
35. Played Mozart for kiddies in two classes yesterday. That was nice.
36. And they loved it.
37. That I can communicate.
38. That I have now read two French picture books.
39. God
40. Buddha
41. Thich Nhat Hahn
42. My online spiritual community
43. That I feel hungry. That’s good.
44. And that I’m waiting to finish some of this before eating. That’s a good practice too.
45. The compassion from P yesterday.
46. That at least one of the presents for M or her girls should come today
47. That I sent her a helpful e-mail today
48. That I just thanked P
49. My cell phone. Really
50. That – through NO doing of my own, J found out I’m going to doctor – and was concerned for me.
51. That I just took a deep breath. I love every deep breath.]
52. Doing pattern-mania today. It will be good for left and right brain, and the kids will enjoy it too!
53. It’s also good for cooperative connections
54. And – I made it up : )
55. And shared it with M
56. Talk with MA yesterday
57. Friends. Oh, thank God for friends
58. And hope. I don’t so much feel “hope” right now, but I’m thankful when I do feel it.
59. And for what I do feel now which is less about the future than hope, but getting through the moment and able to.
60. Compassion yesterday when told 3 more people. Well some, anyway.
61. Will see dr. tomorrow
62. And take mother home Thurs.
63. Back to the moment: I am grateful that I will probably get to do the breathing game with the kids today. And maybe for two weeks straight – we’ll “talk about it.”
64. That my new behavior plan worked better yesterday.
65. And should today as well.
66. That I have more than enough to do during time when they’re not in the room.
67. Copier machines
68. Printers
69. Aides
70. KH. She left yesterday, and I loved the time she got to be with us
71. Amazing fairy-tale-rap session yesterday
72. Great plans for them for today
73. Not great at – but good enough at online research
74. The concept of “good enough”
75. MA’s example
76. Aunt J doing better
77. Stones
78. Rivers
79. Oceans and how many times I’ve been to
80. My eyesight
81. My hearing
82. My ability to type
83. My feet
84. The daily readings
85. Laughter
86. Smiles
87. That I wrote a good report after all. Phew.
88. That so much of the crap I’ve worried about was nonsense
89. The people I get to work with
90. When I used to say to J, “I can’t believe I get to work with this quality of teachers.” And he would reply, “You’re ONE of them.”
91. Rings
92. Earrings
93. Bracelets
94. Necklaces
95. Ankle bracelet I used to wear and felt good about
96. That I do not wear fur
97. Or silk
98. Or wool
99. Or pearls
100. Or leather