Grats

I am grateful:


1. That J. helped convince my mother to stay there for the physical help, which she really needs. She was determined again to leave.
2. I’m grateful he’s still involved. She never did hear anyone the way she hears J.
3. That I helped out yesterday
4. The little kids in their finery, excited to play piano.
5. Thinking about whether I can really do it – play at a concert.
6. Some sleep. Not enough, but I’m so glad I got some.
7. I can go to bed very early tonight if I need to.
8. French lesson today!
9. My shower yesterday felt and smelled especially good.
10. My hair too.
11. Humor
12. Hope
13. My new therapist.
14. Books
15. Bookshelves
16. That last night, when it was freezing out, I was safe and warm in my little house.
17. And was aware of it and grateful for it in the moment.
18. I’ll see doggie next week.
19. Regular therapist appointment Wed
20. 3rd out of 5 with specialist one Fri
21. Support
22. Friends who do love me.
23. J in my life
24. Exercise. I’m looking forward to the particular exercise for this week.
25. My kids and M’s. I love working with them in these creative ways.
26. And their happiness with the “rap.”
27. My skin
28. My soft hands
29. Windows
30. That I am mobile and can get out every day.
31. That I am improving my health.
32. That I am starting to see the connection between my actions and my health.
33. That I made it to the meeting yesterday.
34. That I’ve e-mailed M
35. And she might call when she gets up
36. I need some support because I’m planning to tell principal today. And I am grateful because I think I will get some support.
37. That M gave a quick call yesterday to tell me she was all right. There was reason for me to be concerned…
38. I will plan next weekend more carefully so I can get to the CoDA meeting as well.
39. I must remember – daily – regular. Not marathons and shut-downs. I’m grateful for that thought.
40. And for the thought that good enough is good enough.
41. I forget where I was, but recently – and the teacher was just using standard books – and I didn’t think any less of him. I want to stop thinking *everything * I do must be special. Grateful that they do need a lot of basics
42. Entertainers.
43. My standing up for myself when I can.
44. Last year, when I read this For Today for this date, I wrote, “I wish,” at the bottom. Now, I believe it. Thank God. Yesterday and this morning, I feel less enthusiastic, and seeing that and knowing the difference helps me.
45. That today’s readings are helping me calm down (I’m going back and forth grats-readings).
46. You. You, if you are reading this, thank you so much!
47. That I did stay home last night. Because my needy-again mom did call. So I guess I’m grateful I was here. I do NOT want to keep losing MY life to her! But then again, her situation is so desperate now…
48. That I think I will find a compromise/better way about all that. For me.
49. I just love these words from today’s Voices of Recovery: “What do I need from my Higher Power? First, I need His protection from the food. I have no other defense against it. Second, I ask for specific, daily direction in my life. I may have to wait an hour, a day, maybe even a week, but I get the direction I seek if I stand still and listen. If I receive no direction, I discover later that my Higher Power needed me to stand still either to protect me from going in the wrong direction or to keep me out of the way so things could unfold according to His greater plans.”
50. That last year, when I read: “Thank you, God, for taking away my obsessions and fears and for directing my life in alignment with Your greater plan.” I wrote “Wow I’d love that.” And now, I am believing it more.
51. That, although it is stressful and exhausting, and the country seems to be blaming teachers now for all its ills – like we caused the stock market breakdown (uh, no – we don’t make enough to invest or not!) – I am grateful I have my job to go to. For my emotions. Today.
52. That now that everything is on the line, and believe me I wish it weren’t, I’m learning the lesson J tried to teach me years ago. And that all religions and wise people try to teach, and people on their deathbeds too: Stop worrying!
53. While I do wish I had seen these words a year – or 15 – ago, I am grateful to see them today: “"In This Moment, my heart is open.

The deep despair of this deafening quiet opens my heart to ask God, 'Speak to me, please. What is it you want? Why is it so hard? What would you have me do in this moment right now? I feel lost. My relationship is trouble. Am I the aggressor? If so, I ask to have that character defect removed.'

I work my program. I speak with an open heart. I ask with an open mind. I turn to my Higher Power. I seek guidance. I breathe. In the quiet, my Higher Power answers.”
54. And I really really needed to read this today! “We cannot base our expectations about how we will feel tomorrow, or even a few hours from now, on how we feel at this moment.”
55. Reading this this morning: “Reflect on the beginning of your recovery. Haven't there been many changes that have brought you to where you are now? Reflect on one year ago. Haven't you and your circumstances changed since then?” Yes!
56. And this: “Know that the discomfort will not be permanent. Do not try to figure out how you shall feel or when you shall feel differently. Instead, trust. Accept today, but do not be limited by it.”
57. And this: “A new energy is coming. A new feeling is on the way. We cannot predict how it will be by looking at how it was or how it is, because it shall be entirely different. We have not worked and struggled in vain. It has been for and toward something.”
58. The concept of trust.
59. Hope for my mother. I want so for her to have *quality * of life.
60. My e-mail answer from Kairava.
61. And her idea that intuitive reiki is so wonderful. (I don’t know if she feels that for beginners or not, but I am level 2).
62. The spiritual strength/power I feel through my hands.
63. That I have shared it with/for others.
64. That I have physical energy so far today.
65. My life
66. And that I finally want/love/appreciate it.
67. I expect some fun today (even besides French course!)
68. My breath
69. My heart
70. My lungs
71. My kidneys
72. My liver. So many good organs.
73. My eyesight. So grateful for that.
74. And that I can speak.
75. My oak tree.
76. My goodness.
77. My Buddhist name that they gave me: True Compassion of the Heart.
78. Nice hair.
79. Clean clothes.
80. Healthy food available and cooked and frozen. Phew.
81. Water. Always grateful for access to clean, fresh water.
82. Choices
83. Freedom
84. Citizenship.
85. That I can choose to make this day a good day. (Like Abe Lincoln and so many others said.)
86. Every single place, including my own street, where there is no war.
87. Every massage I’ve ever had.
88. All the luxuries I have taken for granted.
89. Bananas.
90. OA
91. CoDA
92. This blog
93. My blood
94. Ability to walk
95. Ability to exercise.
96. My problems are really the problems of the “worried well.”
97. People who are happy. I am grateful on their behalf.
98. The times D is nice.
99. Cousins when they love me.
100. My pretty breasts.
101. Jo, at work. She has been so good to me.
102. K, at work. They are both helpful.