I am grateful:
1. nice talk with sponsor yesterday afternoon. Helpful
2. that *can * talk
3. J did come and bring me stuff I needed
4. I did get a lot of sleep
5. What else am I grateful for – that I’m not in a prison camp
6. Or a concentration camp
7. Or a prison
8. That I’m not a slave
9. That my lungs work
10. That I have enough money to live on right now
11. That I have friends
12. People who comment here
13. Humor and laughter
14. That I have never had a stroke
15. That my brain works
16. That I have access to vegetables (not today when can’t do the fiber, but access)
17. All the times I so enjoyed embroidering those pillowcases for me and J, and for J
18. The scarf I knitted for him
19. The blanket I crocheted for him
20. Oh my God, I’m never gonna be able to deal with this. Um, that I have dealt for the last month or so until yesterday. Okay. That.
21. That I don’t have to go look at apartments with M tomorrow
22. That I will continue supporting her as she goes through this
23. That maybe I’ll continue getting support too
24. Maybe someday I’ll be hugged again
25. Oh God I’m so sad. Um. Um. That I have eyesight
26. That I am literate
27. That I have shelter
28. And heat
29. The tea J made me yesterday
30. Presents J has given me
31. How he was overcome with love for me while we were at the play Phantom of the Opera, and verbalized it
32. I am grateful. Um. That I can walk
33. That I am not as sick as yesterday
34. Um. K called last night
35. Fuck fuck fuck. Um. When I used to look gorgeous in a bathing suit
36. Closets
37. Hot water
38. Cold water
39. Fridge
40. Humidifier
41. Microwave
42. Oven
43. Stovetop
44. Toilet that flushes
45. Dishwasher working
46. Water. Plenty of water
47. Fishes swimming freely
48. Birds who get to fly in the sky
49. Doggie, although I can’t have her again today
50. Underwear
51. Clothes
52. Blankets
53. Pillows
54. Beautiful earrings I bought for M’s birthday.
55. Ability to type
56. That my laptop has been revamped at work so it works
57. That my mother looked so great the other day – Thurs – during our visit
58. Bras
59. Toothbrush
60. Toothpaste
61. Dentists
62. Applesauce
63. Vegan yogurt
64. I am an interesting person
65. There is still hope. There must be. There is. Right? Hope.
66. Sponsor says everybody – even when far into recovery, suffers some days. Okay
67. MA = good talk last night
68. And expecting another one later this am
69. I will somehow manage to pull myself out of this. I will.
70. God will help me.
71. J complimented how the place looks.
72. And especially the flowers
73. I have all my limbs
74. Everyone who is kind
75. Doggie – maybe I can see her for a little time today? I don’t know. If not, next week!
76. That I’m being very fair to J financially. And I most-or-the-time expect he will continue to be, too.
77. N, at work, and some of the talks we have.
78. My hands
79. On number 79, and after writing e-mail in between, not feeling quite as depressed as when started.
80. Grateful that I’m doing these.
81. That I have a whole weekend now.
82. And a good book – although the main one I’m supposed to be reading is at the classroom. But I have a just-plain-old-book – wait two! Here now.
83. Plus another one I’m supposed to read
84. And I am not so dizzy like yesterday, so I maybe can read. Yeah, I can.
85. And then Monday I get to go back to work.
86. And I am determined to calm those crazy children down.
87. One of my aides (one hour a day), whom I love – she’s so wonderful – takes such initiative – and is a lovely human being
88. The ½ hour clerical one, who does work
89. And the one who come when the other leaves, although she takes no initiative, she’s not as bad as the one they replaced. That’s something.
90. That I am not perfect either, and am still accepted by many.
91. Wow. I really am not nearly as sick today. Good.
92. Every day I’ve ever had when wasn’t sick.
93. Elegance – wherever I see it
94. Manners – every time I experience them – in me or others
95. The arts
96. Flowers
97. Dogs
98. Cats
99. Trees
100. Rivers
101. Woods
102. I did it
Oh - and that maybe getting through yesterday could have made me a little stronger - ?
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