Readings

Yesterday's For Today:

"If the blind lead the blind both shall fall into the ditch." The Bible: Matthew

About looking for direction from anyone and everyone...but found more problems and less self-esteem. And finding independence in OA and self-honesty and listening to own feelings rather than people who think they know what's best for me = so much better. Higher Power "is the only source from which I seek such knowledge."

"For today: I fI don't know which way to go, I turn the problem over to God in steps three and eleven, completely confident that the answer will come. I may discuss the matter with my sponsor and others whom I trust, but I give myself time to learn what God would have me do."

Today's For Today: "We suffer primarily not from our vices or our weaknesses, but from our illusions. We are haunted, not by reality, but by those images we have put in place of reality." Daniel J. Boorstin

"My life didn't match life as it was shown in movies, books, on TV. So I thought something was wrong and I had to fix it. That delusion led me to demoralization and despair.
Today, with OA's steps of recovery, I know illusions are an escape from reality and the price i pay for that escape is my illness. Reality is what is. today, I do not have the illusion that I am the center of the universe, that I should try to make everyone love me, that my opinions are facts. My illusions are being replaced with enlightenment, my resentment with serenity, my anger with love.

For today: Staying in the real world is far less painful than hiding in food and fat."

Yesterday's Voices of Recovery:

"Before we joined the OA Fellowship our prayers for help might have gone unanswered simply because we were never meant to face this disease in isolation." OA 12 & 12 p 15-16

"I was one of those people who prayed regularly for God to remove the fat and allow me to continue overeating. I prayed for the day to be different, not understanding the concept that taking the first bit triggered the disease. i also ate secretly, making sure everyone was out of the house so that I could eat. Today OA offers me the opportunity to be with fellow sufferers who know the pain that excess food has caused. OA offers me recovery from compulsive overeating. I do not need to live in isolation any longer because there are people who understand my disease. What a miracle! I no longer need to isolate myself, as I have come to believe in a power greater than myself, and I share the camaraderie of fellow compulsive overeaters.

Today's Voices of Recovery:

uh oh
"...praying only for knowledge of His will for us." Step Eleven

...
"Too often, even after years of recovery, I forget that God does not need instructions from me on how to run my life. God knows all my problems, pains, and fears and the insane solutions I often plot in my mind. I need only recall that many years of my best thinking brought me to IA.
No, God does not need a task list from me.
For today i will remember to let an infinite Higher Power enrich my life and broaden my horizons with His will, rather than shortchanging myself with the finite limits of my own human vision."

Ooh I like this - yesterday's In This Moment:
"In This Moment, i am more than the sum of my mistakes and misfortunes.

I accept my codependent tendencies while honoring my value and worth. All the experiences that led to my recovery are gifts, too. My recovery provides me with new insights and grants me wisdom that makes me a happier person. i may choose to share this knowledge with other, inside or outside the CoDA Fellowship. My recovery is a gift from my Higher Power, without which I would not be the person I am today."
Okay

Oh. And I need this sentence very much. Today's In This Moment:
"In This Moment, I am gentle with myself.

I forgive myself for my past mistakes and focus on the lessons I've learned. I have compassion for myself, for all the trials and pain that I have endured. I acknowledge my accomplishments instead of always thinking how much more I have to do. I allow myself to observe and notice without judging or reacting. Each small step, each daily action, is what counts in recovery."

Yesterday's language of Letting Go
"Step One
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." Step On eof Al=-Anon

and how significant the word we is there. in the comming together with a commone problem we find a common solution. we have felt alone in our pain and now are holding hands together
"Today, I will be grateful for the many people across the world who call themselves 'recovering codependents.' Help me know that each time one of us takes a step forward, we pull the entire group forward."
NICE!

Today's:
"Off the Hook.

We can learn not to get hooked into unhealthy, self-defeating behaviors in relationships - behaviors such as caretaking, controlling, discounting ourselves, and believing lies.
We can learn to watch for and identify hooks, and choose not to allow ourselves to be hooked.
Often, people do things consciously or without thinking that pull us into a series of our self-defeating behaviors we call codependency. more often than not, these hooks can be almost deliberate, and the results predictable.
Someone may stand before us and hint or sigh about a problem, KNOWING oR HOPING that hint or sigh will hook us into taking care of him or her. That is manipulation.
When people stand around us and hint and sight about something, then coyly say, 'Oh, never mind, that's not for you to worry about,' that's a GAME. WE need to recognize it. We're about to get sucked in, if we allow that to happen.
We can learn to insist that people ask us directly for what they want and need.
What are the words, the signs, the looks, the hints, the cues that hook us into a predictable, and often self-defeating behavior?
What makes you feel sympathy? Guilt? Responsible for another?
Our strong point is that we care so much. Our weak point is that we often underestimate the people with whom we're dealing. THEY know what they're feeling. It is time we give up our naive assumption that people don't follow agendas of their own in their best interest, and not necessarily in ours.
We also want to check ourselves out. Do we give out hooks, looks, hints, hoping to hook another? We need to insist that we behave in a direct and honest manner with others, instead of expecting them to rescue us.
If someone wants something from us, insist that the person ask us directly for it. Require the same from ourselves. If someone baits the hook, we don't have to bit it.

Today, I will be aware of the hooks that snag me into the caretaking acts that leave me feeling victimized. I will ignore the hints, looks, and words that hook me, and wait for the directness and honesty I, and others, deserve.

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