Readings

Yesterday's For Today:
"The best way out is always through." Robert Frost

"I used to take the long way around, avoiding problems, escaping feelings. in OA I heard it called the easier, softer way. But is my way really easier? No! It is the hard and painful, life-of-hell way.
I am grateful for the awareness of old patterns. Today I count on God's help to remove those faults I expose when I take the honest way out of my difficulties.

For today: Practice of steps four through nine prepares me for facing rather than trying to escape my problems."
This is important. Must get back to Step Eight.

Today's For Today:

"I have never seen a person grow or change in a constructive direction when motivated by guilt, shame and/or hate." William Goldberg

"If you eat too much you're a glutton. If you weight too much you won't be popular with the boys (or girls). Heaping new guilt upon old, I tried to reform myself. I dieted, lost weight. There, now I looked terrific. But for how long? And did I like myself any better, inside?
Of all the remedies i tried, only in OA did I feel accepted for what I was, not for what I might become. Only in OA did I feel my problem was nothing to be ashamed of. Only in OA was I able to lose the weight and keep it off. Without guilt, without shame, without self-hate.

For today: I let no one - including myself - try to shame me into changing something about myself I wish were different. I pray to be relieved of guilt and self-hate, and to accept and like myself exactly as I am. That is where I can begin to change."

--


Yesterday's Voices of Recovery:

"At this point we learned we could 'act as if.' This didn't mean we were to be dishonestly plans or pretend we believed in God when we didn't. It meant we were free to set aside theological arguments and examine the idea of spiritual power in the light of our own desperate need for help with our lives." OA 12 & 12 p.14

"I came to OA through AA, where I had been struggling, miserable, and unable to work the program; I simply didn't believe anything could restore me to sanity" OMG that was me (just not AA)! - "from my eating and self-harming behavior. Once I had admitted that I was powerless over food, the above quote helped me to take Step Two and move on. Yes, I was absolutely desperate. I could stop being logical, forget my prejudices about the word 'God,' and 'act as if' a power greater than myself was working in my life. 'Acting as if' enabled me to start trusting that I would be okay, that I could get through the days without eating compulsively or hurting myself. I don't know what I trust in precisely, but it doesn't matter; I have faith that it works.

Today's Voices of Recovery:

"I put my hand in yours and together..." Beyond Our Wildest Dreams p. 201

"I was alone, and I knew it. I was and am an odd duck - intelligent, yet lacking common sense and tact. I was angry at God. I felt cursed. I ate and ate and ate."
Wow do I see myself here in these.
"Then came the miracle of program. There my weaknesses were assets. They made me a member. Amazing! I felt understood for the first time. That was the beginning. With fellow compulsive eaters, I daily put down the food and walked the walk of recovery. I reached out my hand, knowing that together we could do what we could never do alone.
In the rooms of OA, I leaned the lesson of the AA pioneers: There is a God, and I am not God. In those rooms, I gradually experienced all the promises the Big Book describes." WOW! "In those rooms, I am home. Today and every day, I am grateful to the God of my understanding that I was desperate enough to reach out and blessed enough to find the hand of OA reaching back.

--

Today's In This Moment:

"In This Moment, I move into my strength and power.

The icy fear that paralyzed me" Me again! "is beginning to melt. Deep inside me resides a fiery strength and power. It lay dormant for years. Now, in recovery, it calls to me. I stand on my own two feet. With these feet I walk through the Twelve Steps. Sometimes the responsibility scares me, but it is also empowering. If I fall, I can get back up. I have choices. I make my own decisions. I am strong."

Oh my gosh I love that one.

And today's:

"In This Moment, I let go and let God.

When I surrender, I allow my Higher Power to do for me what I cannot do for myself. This releases me from the stress to perform and fear of failure. When I stop, drop, and pray, I give myself time to refocus. I especially like the Serenity Prayer because it is simple, direct, and powerful. It helps me realign my priorities. The benefits are inner peace that money can't buy, the courage to be all that I an be, and the wisdom to know I'm not in control.

I see a miraculous change in my life. Today, I am in the flow of my Higher Power's will for my life.

--

Yesterday's The Language of Letting Go:

"Gratitude

Sometimes in life, things happen too fast. We barely solve one problem when two new problems surface. We're feeling great in the morning, but we're submerged in misery by nightfall.
Every day we face interruptions, delays, changes, and challenges. We face personality conflicts and disappointments. Often when we're feeling overwhelmed, we can't see the lessons in these experiences.
One simple concept can get us through the most stressful of times. It's called gratitude. We learn to say, thank you, for these problems and feelings. Thank you for the way things are. I don't like this experience, but thank you anyway.
Force gratitude until it becomes habitual. Gratitude helps us stop trying to control outcomes. It is the key that unlocks positive energy in our life. It is the alchemy that turns problems into blessings, and the unexpected into gifts.

Today, I will be grateful. I will start the process of turning today's pain into tomorrow's joy.

[Hmmm. I don't think I ever think to be grateful for the CHALLENGES. Good thought.]

Today's The Language of Letting Go:

"Owning Our Power

There is one feeling we need to pay particular attention to in recovery: feeling victimized. We do not need to become comfortable with that feeling.
How do we feel when we've been victimized? Helpless. Rageful. Powerless. Frustrated.
Feeling victimized is dangerous. Often, it can prompt us into addictive or other compulsive behaviors.
In recovery, we're learning to identify when we're feeling victimized, when we are actually being victimized, and why we're feeling victimized. We're learning to own our power, to take care of ourselves, and to remove ourselves as victims.
Sometimes, owning our power means we realize we are victimizing ourselves - and others are not doing anything to hurt us. They are living their lives, as they have a right to, and we are feeling victimized because we're attempting to control their process, or we're unreasonably expecting them to take care of us. We may feel victimized if we get stuck in a codependent belief, such as, Other people make me feel . . . Others hold the key to my happiness and destiny . . . or, I can't be happy unless another behaves in a particular way, or a certain event takes place . . . (Yes - that was me - and I am changing!)
"Other times, owning our power means we realize that we are being victimized by another's behavior. Our boundaries are being invaded. In that case, we figure out what we need to do to take of ourselves to stop the victimization; we need to set boundaries.
Sometimes, a change of attitude is all that's required. We are not victims.
We strive to have compassion for the person who victimized us, but understand that compassion often comes later, after we've removed ourselves as victims in body, mind, and spirit. We also understand that too much compassion can put us right back into the victim slot. Too much pity for a person who is victimizing us may set up a situation where the person can victimize us again." [I have done that!]
We try not to force consequences or crises upon another person, but we also do not rescue that person from logical consequences of his or her behavior. If there is a part that is our responsibility to play in delivering those consequences, we do our part - not to control or punish, bu to be responsible for ourselves and to others.
We try to figure out what we may be doing that is causing us to feel victimized, or what part we are playing in the system, and we stop doing that too. We are powerless over others and their behavior, but we can own our power to remove ourselves as victims.

Today, I will take responsibility for myself and show it to others by not allowing myself to be victimized. I cannot control outcomes, but I can control my attitude toward being victimized. I am not a victim; i do not deserve to be victimized.

[Wow.]

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