I am grateful:
1. I am grateful that I am alive.
2. I am so so grateful to be grateful that I’m alive.
3. I’m grateful that I woke up.
4. And for the feeling of the smooth wood floors under my bare feet this morning.
5. And the beautiful, shiny, yet calming, light pink nail polish on my toes.
6. Getting the book the new therapist instructed me to get, last night.
7. Telling my “real,” long-term therapist about the 5 sessions I’m gonna be doing with this one for the specific thing.
8. Him approving. Phew.
9. The work I’m doing all day Saturday will help pay for it a bit.
10. Talking with Mau last night. For her sake.
11. And NOT staying on too long. For my sake.
12. That K and Jo are willing to help me to get my course work in on time.
13. That I slept last night.
14. And had another lovely house-dream. I don’t know for sure why I love them so much, but I *love * when I have house dreams. I design the most amazing houses in my dreams. The specialty fireplace last night – I’ve never seen anything like it in real life – was so cool. And so creative.
15. And it tickles me to even picture it.
16. So glad having creative dreams again.
17. Happy that have had house design, dress design, and music composing dreams.
18. And happy about that recurring dream I’ve had about my father. It’s comforting.
19. Happy that losing weight.
20. And keeping up with house!
21. This weekend will be very busy. In a way I’m NOT happy about that. Because I probably can’t have doggie, as she’d be alone too much : ( But – I AM happy that I try to do what’s best for her.
22. And busy is better than alone, bored, isolated, binging, or depressed.
23. And I have GREAT books to read.
24. And I talk to the new therapist again today. I’m excited about it.
25. Hope. So grateful for hope.
26. A little time to read today.
27. I will be a smiling professional.
28. But I will probably “confront” H. because I did her a favor yesterday and she screwed me by talking down to my aide about what I’d helped her with, and sort of blaming my aide! No wonder no one likes her. And I mean no one.
29. But I will confront her professionally.
30. But at least I won’t wimp out (I think).
31. And I get to see the other class for the fairy tale stuff again! I love doing that!
32. And THEY *love * it!
33. And I will show little E the drum pattern and he will get to do it!
34. That all the people in my area of the building seem to be and say they are so happy to be there together. Including me.
35. And that the addition of me to the area, they all said, made it better.
36. They even told the principal that.
37. Smiles.
38. I will be calmer with the children today. I love the way M. is so excited and upbeat all the time. But my kids lately seem to be over-stimulated or something. Nothing to do with me. BUT if I am plainer (ick), maybe they can take it down a notch. Their behavior’s been off for weeks.
39. Maybe I’ll be able to work it out with this new aide. Oy.
40. I’m grateful that THESE are my problems. There are SO MANY, FAR WORSE problems!
41. Crocodiles. Really.
42. My humidifier.
43. And how it helps my piano AND me.
44. Talking to that nurse last night because my mother already hates it in the nursing home and doesn’t want to stay the whole two weeks.
45. Enough energy to get through the days.
46. No more fatigue like last week and the week before! So grateful. That was debilitating and I’m SO glad it’s gone.
47. Hope for my mother.
48. Piano.
49. O’s 40th birthday end of month.
50. M. will help me think of something great but not too expensive to do for her.
51. Just e-mailing O and offering a meal to her, her mom, and her ex but they’re very close and do everything together. That might be a nice something for her birthday – a little lunch or dinner here.
52. I’m grateful that I got to the post office the other day.
53. And that I do that kind of thing now.
54. And that I can do some laundry and grocery shopping this weekend.
55. I just made my weekend plan. Somehow I *will * fit it all in.
56. I’m grateful for my ability to walk.
57. And my Tibetan bowl bell.
58. And my Buddhist necklace from M.
59. And my “reiki” ring.
60. And getting still more steps in daily.
61. And that I’ll give those kids a great day today.
62. And that I filled the gas tank yesterday in the car.
63. That I’ve been sort of forced to step outside my comfort zone more lately. That’s good for me.
64. That I have regular bowel movements. Some people don’t.
65. Deep breaths.
66. Including the one I just took.
67. That maybe I’ll do an experiment and do the ‘breathing game” (meditation) with the kids once a day for the next 2 weeks.
68. I do believe it’ll be good for ALL of us. Them, me, and the aide(s).
69. MM. I’m so glad she has the job she has. I’m so grateful for her.
70. That I just e-mailed her and told her.
71. So much access to healthy foods.
72. People who are trying to help the earth.
73. The next two music projects I have planned.
74. That my problems are not really problems.
75. That I’m kind of happy now.
76. That I’m okay alone.
77. That I’m looking forward to my future. That’s a biggy.
78. And that I don’t know what it will be, and I’m fine with that!
79. That – no small thanks to people who have commented here and e-mailed me – I know now that I AM a whole person.
80. God
81. Buddha
82. Thich Naht Hahn
83. Ma
84. That I went on that retreat this past summer. It was good for me.
85. Plus I think I was good for V.
86. Plus I prayed for the people who asked me to.
87. Everyone who prays for me.
88. I am grateful that J. is doing what he wants to be doing.
89. Cards. I’m grateful for cards I get from people.
90. Compliments on my hair the last two days! I don’t know why – it doesn’t seem different to me… But nice to here.
91. N. for being so encouraging about my weight loss.
92. That that is really helping me.
93. M. for being strong enough to do what she has to do.
94. My mother praying for her.
95. I will see my mom tomorrow
96. I will have breakfast. That’s lucky.
97. I had it with M in her classroom yesterday. That was a luxury.
98. My dr. telling me my house looks nice, yesterday.
99. That I just stopped this and e-mailed chimney people. Because when I went to light a fire yesterday, I saw that it definitely needs to be inspected and cleaned first. I’m excited that it will be done.
100. That the fairy tale thing is helping M. so much (she just e-mailed me).
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