I am grateful:
1. All day today to rest
2. And probably get better still
3. Junky tv that I *can * stand
4. MA actually offered to bring me groceries. I may just take her up on that
5. That I don’t eat animals.
6. That some people have pot-bellied pigs and that helps others see how nice pigs are
7. That I had said could not watch Mau’s doggie while would be away this week. Didn’t know I’d be so sick, but it worked out so well that didn’t take.
8. That I wrote M a beautiful e-mail this morning
9. On this day, that could prove very difficult for her, she was so helped by it and said it was the most inspirational way to start her day. I’m so glad it helped some
10. At least I’m getting lots of sleep
11. That I’m not using that lamp that the halogen bulb was literally melting the plastic anymore!
12. Bright cheerful colors
13. And very calming colors like cream
14. That I was careful to not do the sugary stuff like vegan sherbet things, or the jittery stuff like white flour or soda or diet soda even though sick. Phew.
15. Hombre. Like my new toolbar happens to go from grey to lighter grey pale pink to brighter…and at very end, little bit bright grey
16. If I can work before doctor tomorrow, I’ll get to have my French lesson number 2!
17. I guess there still is a lot to be grateful for in my life.
18. MA was sure that bad feeling would pass.
19. J too, although I didn’t come NEAR to telling him HOW bad it was
20. And dr. too
21. And I’m coming to believe it will
22. Sponsor wouldn’t say it would, but said his did – the big one – long-term. That helped too.
23. I’ll look better next summer than last, anyway.
24. That I expect to be alive next summer
25. And that I want to. That’s my biggest gratitude.
26. Music
27. Dancing. I can’t wait to again.
28. And that there are other things I “can’t wait for” too!
29. Like more French
30. More piano
31. More reading
32. More walking outside!
33. More other exercise (indoor, daily)!
34. That I do love moving my body
35. Some travel
36. More swimming
37. All these little (or big) miracles of life, that I get to do
38. More communication with L - ?
39. And maybe another/others too - ?
40. More time with beloved doggie. I love to be with her
41. More hearing of the birds outside
42. More looking at the trees in leaf
43. More walking in woods
44. Maybe even with doggie off leash
45. And J (as friends), when it is best with doggie off leash
46. Maybe shutting up more.
47. 2 more talks with new temporary therapist
48. Maybe Russia next summer since only have to save enough for flight
49. Or if COULD save that much, maybe will just save that much!
50. Maybe my mother will isolate less and get out of the chair more when gets home from physical rehab at nursing home - ?
51. Laughter
52. God
53. Buddha
54. Thich Nhat Hahn
55. Robes
56. Bells
57. Very interesting dreams. Even the uncomfortable ones like last night and this morning. They’re so interesting.
58. Although I don’t understand it, that one where I have sort of a classroom and a fourth – the fourth separated by a partial wall, and is a great place for some kinds of learning. I love that one in all its forms.
59. And the absolutely unbelievable houses I’ve designed in my dreams. Oh my gosh. I have never seen anything like them even in a movie. They have some unbelievable elements – I haven’t even said them here. But they are magnificent. And I’m thrilled that my mind can be that creative.
60. People who write novels.
61. Stickers for the kids
62. That I’m still doing my thumb exercises
63. Specialty salads
64. Specialty pizzas J and I used to have made just for us.
65. Like that vegan one very thin, extra crisp, and with sauce, garlic, onions, and arugula.
66. All the great Friday nights we had with that and a movie, snuggled in.
67. When he loved me. I’m grateful for that.
68. When he thought I was so beautiful.
69. And smart.
70. And funny.
71. And how much he respected me.
72. And when he wrote, the day before my birthday, “This is the anniversary of the darkest day in history: the day before Lynn was born.”
73. And when he bought me the teeny little charm – gold with a tiny diamond in it. Because he said, “I tried and tried for such a long time to think of what represents Lynn. And then I realized: integrity. So what represents integrity? The earth’s best: diamond and gold.”
74. Where did that go? Okay. That’s not the point here. The point here is that I’m so grateful I had that kind of love.
75. He just wanted, near the end, for me to have interests of my own. And it turns out I do. I was just covering them under the cloud of my obsession and codependence on him. But the interests have at least come out.
76. Including this spirituality.
77. Juice.
78. Juice diluted with water.
79. Hats
80. My winter hat
81. The health I do have
82. That when I’m not so weak, my legs are strong
83. That I will get them even stronger
84. Things that are neat and in order, everywhere.
85. Including this desk here
86. And other people’s classrooms.
87. And sometimes mine.
88. And my house.
89. That J took care of everything when lice was going on around the school and nurse wasn’t sure if maybe I had
90. Every “pet” I ever had
91. Time
92. The gifts I went online and bought at ridiculous low prices (like 2 dollars etc.) for M’s girls, but that they will love
93. And for M (not as cheap) for her upcoming birthday.
94. And the 55 dollar necklace I got her too, which cost me 2 dollars and change. Because of gift certificate…
95. And I will give them as moving out of house.
96. That I’m all the way on 96 already. Really. Didn’t think could do today.
97. So glad started!
98. That my mother still sounded yesterday so much better (I wouldn’t go there even if I *could, * because would just expose all to these germs)
99. Beautiful rooms
100. Art
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