Readings

Today's For Today:

"How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbor says, or does or thinks, but only at what he does himself, to make it just and holy." Marcus Aurelius

"What a sad waste of time it is to occupy myself with other people's affairs - gossiping, pointing, a finger, taking another's inventory, comparing status and possissions. The motive, beyond a surface self-satisfaction, is obviously to keep from putting my own house in order. That is a fulltime job: taking my own inventory, making my own amends, becoming more aware of my own defects.
There is surely no more exciting adventure, no greater privilege than to continue working this program of recovery.

For today: There is never enough time to work my own program and someone else's."

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Voices of Recovery:

"Step Eleven encourage us to practice prayer, to continue talking to our Higher Power daily, more when it seems like a senseless exercise." OA 12 & 12 p.92

"My first attempts at practicing prayer were a self-pitying review of my failings, or reviewing arguments for the existence of God, or crying to a God - whose existence I doubted - that I would not go to bed until He/It promised me I would be abstinent tomorrow. All these methods failed me. Because prayer appeared not to work, it was hard to keep up any consistent practice. But over the years of trial and error, repeatedly trying and failing to pray regularly, I have learned how I need to pray.
I thank God for my abstinence and my recovery. I ask for hep with my abstinence in the day ahead. I offer my service. I acknowledge the previous day's failings and ask to be shown how to do better. I offer the day ahead to the service of God. I pray for friends in and out of OA. From the time I started this simple daily routine my recovery stopped plodding forward - it sprang forward.

Hmmm.

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Today's In This Moment:

"In This Moment, I appreciate my own company.

I'm so powerless over the weather! It's a chilly winter's day in new England. Blowing wind and snow, I bundled myself up in gloves, hat, two layers of fleece, and took myself out to lunch. I sipped some cocoa, read a newspaper, and took my time. I didn't feel lonely. i was enjoying myself, by myself. How great is that? One of the joys of recovery is learning to love the self. I don't always love myself or like myself. I can feel ashamed and be self-critical. But today I let go of all that. I enjoyed my own company. It says in CoDA's "Welcome" that God intends us to be 'precious and free.' Today, I feel it.

Well, that's not true for me, above, but I want it to be...

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Today's The Language of Letting Go:

"Letting Go of Guilt

'There's a good trick that people in dysfunctional relationships use,' said one recovering woman. 'The other person does something inappropriate or wrong, then stands there until you feel guilty and end up apologizing.'
It's imperative that we stop feeling so guilty."
Wow.
"Much of the time, the things we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person behaves inappropriately or in some way violates our boundaries. We challenge the behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then WE feel guilty.
Guilt can prevent us from setting the boundaries that would be in our best interests, and in other people's best interests. Guilt can stop us from taking healthy care of ourselves.
We don't have to let others count on the fact that we'll always feel guilty. We don't have to allow ourselves to be controlled by guilt - earned or unearned! We can break through the barrier of guilt that holds us back from self-care. Push. Push harder. We are not at fault, crazy, or wrong. We have a right to set boundaries and to insist on appropriate treatment. We can separate another's issues from our issues, and let the person experience the consequences of his or her own behavior, including guilt. We can trust ourselves to know when our boundaries are being violated.

Today, I will let go of my big and little guilty feelings. Light and love are on my side.

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