Okay. Yesterday's For Today:
"If we find nothing of interest where we are, we are likely to find little of lasting interest where we wish to go." Edwin Way Teale
"It is better over there - more action at that table, that group, that city, that country. Ah, if only I were there I'd feel better.
What an old idea! Where I live is inside; nothing on the outside changes that. yes, I can find a distraction, a place to escape. But it won't last. Time now to look within; take an inventory, make an amends, a twelfth-step call. Wherever I go, Tibet or Timbuktoo, Mt. Everest or the moon, I take myself with me.
Do I like the company?
For today: Through this program, I am regaining the zest and enthusiasm for life that is my birthright."
Today's For Today:
"The best part of our lives we pass in counting on what is to come." William Hazlitt.
Oh shit. And that is how I have ruined my life. And - that is exactly the response I'd written on the page in the book one whole year again today.
Anyway. Moving on.
"What a waste. A life of expecting and waiting. Ws the event ever as good as the anticipation? Seldom. Disappointment gave me climate to complain, reason to brook - and to seek relief in food.
In OA, I am in today - now, this minute - which is the only reality. Yesterday is a memory, tomorrow is not here. I will appreciate this minutes for what it is. I will be conscious of a life outside myself so I can hear its sounds, feel its warmth and coolness, know another's presence. Fear disappears, control vanishes; I let go and let God direct my life."
Wow that it HUGE.
"For today: In OA, I am regaining the capacity for simple enjoyment I once had: to explore, to accept, to trust and delight in present-moment pleasures as a child does."
Today's Voices of Recovery:
"Abstinence is the most important thing in my life without exception." Lifeline Sampler, p. 3
"I became abstinent when working the Steps and using the tools. I found physical recovery and a life filled with emotion. During that time, OA members were debating whether abstinence or God was the most important thing in recovery.
I decided to accept the gift of abstinence and maintain it. If abstinence is a gift, then who is the giver? Obviously, it is my loving Higher power. If I refuse to do the footwork to accept and maintain the gift, then I negate the love my Higher Power has for me. In refusing the gift and denying the love, I cannot say that my relationship with my Higher power is the most important thing in my life. In fact, the opposite would be true.
I now have no problem believing that abstinence is the most important thing in my life without exception. For me, it can work no other way because this belief expresses the physical and emotional foundation of OA, and it embodies the spiritual essence of it.
Today's Voice of Recovery:
"I keep an open mind to having an open mind; the possibilities are endless." For Today, p. 237
"When I came into these rooms, I was absolutely close-minded regarding religious matters. But I soon realized tow things: religious matters were not the same as a spiritual experience; and a spiritual experience was absolutely necessary if I were to survive this disease of compulsive overeating. Once I did the footwork and became willing to open myself to a spiritual experience, it happened, I didn't make it happen, but I did allow it to happen by setting up inviting conditions: quiet time for meditation, writing, and prayer.
Yesterdays' In This Moment:
"In This Moment I choose how to spend my time.
Although other people and situations may pressure me, ultimately I make the decision of how to spend my time. Not making a choice is a choice. How I spend my minutes, hours, and days determines how I live my life. Am I living the life I want to lead? Or am I living the way someone else thinks I should? Sometimes in order to say 'yes' to what I want, I have to say 'no' to something else. If I spend time figuring out what's really important to me, I can focus my energy on those areas. Knowing what's important to me helps me achieve my goal and enjoy life.
Today's In This Moment:
"In This Moment, I live my own life."
Okay that shouldn't feel ow, scared, but it does...
Moving on:
"Lately, I'm not allowing myself to be pulled into other people's business. This is a good sign of my recovery! Meddling is a codependent trait that I am trying to change. People ask me to solve their problems. Although I'm tempted, I choose to say, 'No.' It's enabling if I rescue them. Either they find the courage to do it themselves or they suffer the consequences. I have my own life to live. It's better
for me to take care of my own business and better for others, too.
Yesterday's Language of Letting Go:
"Needing People
We can find the balance between needing people too much and not letting ourselves need anyone at all.
Many of us have unmet dependency needs lingering from the past. While we want others to fulfill our desire to be loved unconditionally, we may have chosen people who cannot, or will not, be there for us. Some of us are so needy from not being loved that we drive people away by needing them too much.
Some of us go to the other extreme. We may have become used to people not being there for us, so we push them away. We fight off our feelings of neediness by becoming overly independent, not allowing ourselves to need anyone. Some of us won't let people be there for us.
Either way, we are living out unfinished business. We deserve better. When we change, our circumstances will change.
If we are too needy we respond to that by accepting the needy part of us. We let ourselves heal from the pain of past needs going unmet. We stop telling ourselves we're unlovable because we haven't been loved the way we wanted and needed.
If we have shut off the part of us that needs people, we become willing to open up, be vulnerable, and let ourselves be loved. We let ourselves have needs.
We will get the love we need and desire when we begin to believe we're lovable, and when we allow that to happen.
Today, I will strive for the balance between being too needy and not allowing myself to need people. I will let myself receive the love that is there for me.
Today's Language of Letting Go:
"Staying in the Present Moment
Often, one of our biggest questions is 'What's going to happen' We may ask this about our relationships, our career, our recovery, our life. It is easy to tangle ourselves up in worrisome thoughts.
Worrying about what's going to happen blocks us from functioning effectively today. It keeps us from doing our best now. It blocks us from learning and mastering today's lessons. Staying in the now, doing our best, and participating fully today are all we need to do to assure ourselves that what's going to happen tomorrow will be for the best.
Worrying about what's going to happen in a negative contribution to our future. Living in the here and now is ultimately the best thing we can do, not only for today, but for tomorrow. It helps our relationships, our career, our recovery, and our life.
Things will work out, if we let the. If we must focus on the future other than to plan, all we need to do is affirm that it will be good.
I pray for faith that my future will be good if I live today well, and in peace. I will remember that staying in the present is the best thing I can do for my future. I will focus on what's happening now instead of what's going to happen tomorrow.
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