CoDA Work Today

Thank you God, for my waking up today.

I woke up and I feel:
Defective, left out, encumbered, shaky, inept, disconnected, abandoned, enviou, sad, deflated, desolate, jilted, overwhelmed, ill, unhappy, anxious, frightened, estranged, vulnerable
AND
Humble, powerless
AND
Grateful, sacred, supported, loving, inspired, blessed, divined, whole

I think it is because:
I've fucked up my life. My marriage. My weight.
I still don't have a decent home.
And no heat/hot water is getting really old.
AND
I ate too much.
AND
God has made me and I can do a great job for the children and I am part of something bigger/greater.

I acted out codependently:
Didn't feel well, so didn't finish 100 gratitudes, watched way too much tv, and ate too much,
which also caused lots of bad nightmares
Stayed in all day without even getting dressed

I think next time I'll do differently:
If I really need to rest, rest in the l.r. or bedroom, not with tv on for so many hours
Eat normal portions
Take my allergy pills

Thank you, Jesus, for helping me with these things