Good News? Me? Yay!

Last night was very hard. Very hard. Depressed; close to calling J to come here to comfort me. Bad.
But didn't. Good.

Then mother called at 11pm and woke me. She's fine, but I never got back to sleep. Wound up on couch all night with tv!
So tired today.

But -
tonight, I feel good.
I heated up some of my soup, which I honestly feel is the best soup I've ever had. (The "Such Yummy Soup" that I'd also made a few weeks ago.)
And I stayed in the moment.
Just being here, in the straightened out kitchen, heating up good soup.
And I ate it (early dinner but yum and healthy too).
And was able to let myself just enjoy the heating *and* the eating.

And then I made a "grilled cheese" sandwich - vegan cheese, Ezekial bread, Earth Balance and in toaster oven then added mustard. So not exactly "real" grilled cheese lol but I like it.
Enjoyed the doing and the eating of that too.

And am watching tv and just enjoying it.
Enjoying it.

I am *not* going to analyze why last night was so hard or why this evening is so much better. But I know that meditating with the children, and teaching 2 classes the beautiful song, and doing my program work this am, and talking to my sponsor though I felt like skipping, and looking good today despite an icy cold bath in the am, etc. etc. walking about with a sense of dignity, reading the good book (My Stroke of Insight), doing my work well, being nice...NOT worrying about the future...
living the moment...
is self-care
and is good and right

And I'm going to continue to: Don't judge it; just do it. No matter how I feel. Just one day, one minute at a time.
And I'm determined that it is okay and fine and right and good to enjoy this evening!
In the little house I've worked SO HARD for (long long story for another time). *My* little house. Bundled up with the electric heater on and tv and just chillin'.
And that's okay.

Yay.