Grats

1. Today’s For Today: “How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees?” William Shakespeare
2. “If only I can keep myself from rushing about to DO something, things generally turn out fine.
3. “I first do what I can, then let go.
4. “The main thing for someone as compulsive as I am is to find something to occupy me while I’m waiting.
5. “This keeps me from wringing my hands and mopping my brow and eventually jumping in to fix things again.” Important!
6. That this sounds different to me than it did last year, when I ‘heard it’ but then just sat around waiting.
7. “It is positively amazing how well my troubles are resolved when I sit them out.” Really? Oh God I hope so. Wow.
8. “For today: “the common cold takes about ten days to run its course, and nothing I can do can alter that fact. With variations in time, this is true of most of my troubles.”
9. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “With humble acceptance we can quietly say to our Higher Power, ‘I am this way, and only with Your help can I change.” OA 12 & 12 p. 61
10. “When I read this passage, I sigh. It is such a relief to be told that I can’t produce the change on my own.
11. “I’m not responsible for removing the defect.
12. “The frustration of trying to do it myself, failing, and then running amok with thoughts that I am morally deficient and bad has been removed.” Oh God, please, yes, do that for me.
13. “I am given permission to turn the problem over and go on with my day.
14. “It brings me back to the present and enables me to focus on the next ‘right’ action.”
15. Today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I feel supported.
16. “In CoDA, I find the support I need to help me build courage and face fear.
17. “when I catch myself blaming and pointing at others, I’m often in denial about some aspect of my life.
18. “I start to see that there is something wrong and maybe it does involve me.
19. “I no longer need to exist in a state of denial.
20. “With the help of trusted CoDA friends, I look deeper and see how certain situations or behaviors are not good for me.
21. “I deal with my issues now.
22. “Life is good.”
23. Maybe God will make that true for me.
24. Today’s Language of Letting Go: “Accepting Our Feelings.
25. “Why do we struggle so with our feelings?
26. “Why do we work so hard to deny our emotions, especially concerning other people?
27. “They are ONLY feelings!
28. “In the course of a day, we may deny we feel frustrated in reaction to someone who is selling us a service. We may deny that we feel frustrated, angry, or hurt in reaction to a friend. We may deny feelings of fear, or anger, toward our children. We may deny a whole range of feelings toward our spouse or the person with whom we’re in a love relationship. We may deny feelings provoked by people we work for, or by people who work for us. Sometimes the feelings are a direct reaction to others. Sometimes people trigger something deeper – an old sadness or frustration. Regardless of the source of our feelings, they are still our feelings. We own them. And acceptance is often all that is necessary to make them go away.”
29. This is like what Thich Nhat Hahn says, about caressing them. Not fighting them. And I tried it with anger and it worked immediately. A few times.
30. “We don’t have to let our feelings control our behavior.
31. “We don’t have to act on each feeling that passes through us.
32. “We do not need to indulge in inappropriate behavior.”
33. That I did some gratitudes mentally in the car on the way home yesterday. Like replacing the sadness with gratitude. Like my sponsor says.
34. “It does help to talk about our feelings with someone we trust.
35. “Sometimes we need to bring our feelings to the person who is triggering them. That can breed intimacy and closeness. But the most important person we need to tell is ourselves.
36. “If we allow our feelings to pass through us, accept them, and release them, we shall know what to do next.”
37. “Today, I will remember that feelings are an important part of my life. I will be open to my feelings in family life, in friendships, in love, and at work. I will feel my feelings without judging myself.”
38. That m principal said something yesterday that showed she is so comfortable with, admiring of, and trusting of me.
39. That a darling boy in my class said yesterday, “This is the best day EVER!”
40. And I made that happen.
41. Maybe I can read with MA later today.
42. I’ll get to take my mother to the bank and shopping.
43. Life
44. Breath
45. Voice
46. Hair
47. Water
48. Roof
49. Heat
50. Hot water
51. Windows
52. New programmable thermostat
53. Arms
54. Legs
55. Kidneys
56. Bladder
57. Liver
58. Word games
59. Laptop
60. Hands
61. Fingers
62. Brain
63. Ability to walk
64. Woods
65. Beaches
66. Sobakowa pillow
67. All the hugs I’ve ever had (may I have more)
68. Lessons I’ve learned, like from my Secret Soybean that time
69. K. in my life
70. CoDA
71. OA
72. My job and at least that’s some hours some days when I feel ok or good about myself
73. Tools that I’m learning from programs
74. That some people read my blog
75. Even in other countries. Thank God.
76. Access to good food.
77. Sitcoms (but may I use them less).
78. Memories – some of them.
79. That I can really breathe right now. I remember when I couldn’t.
80. The post-hysterectomy care/walks/wheelchair J. did with me.
81. My heart
82. My lungs
83. Lamps
84. Wood floors
85. Eyesight
86. Eyeglasses
87. Availability of dentist (and I need to go soon).
88. Even though I don’t like her reactions, I’m grateful that I extended myself to S.
89. Buddhism.
90. The Five Mindfulness Trainings.
91. Taking them with J.
92. Still reading them regularly.
93. And trying to live them.
94. The drug addicts from whom I’ve learned things.
95. The homemade lunches I’ve been bringing to work.
96. That I get to sit in a faculty room.
97. That I’m almost finished with report cards.
98. Bookshelves
99. A nice parent conference yesterday.
100. That the district has agreed to pay to fix my classroom piano.
101. That I got to a hundred.