CoDA Work This Morning

Thank you, God, for this day.

I woke up and I feel:
Unstable, low, jittery, abandoned, bypassed, lonely, disturbed, rejected, unhappy, desolate, fearful, betrayed, jilted, worried, sad, depressed, ostracized, shak, helpless, blue, defective, regretful, vulnerable, downcast, encumbered, overwhelmed, frightened, alone
AND
Humble, broken, defeated
AND
Blessed, grateful, sacred, divine

I think it is because:
I hate what I've done with my life.
I hate what he's done with it too.
I'm mad.
I'm regretful too.
It seems so many others have things to look forward to that I don't.
I feel like I'm a shit.
AND
Sponsor says wave the white flag.
AND I know I have a million blessings.

I acted out co-dependently:
Waiting for/expecting J to call
Not cleaning
Overeating

I think I'll do differently next time:
Continue more with the Don't judge it just do it.
Register the things I accomplish at work and bring them here too.
Stop blaming myself and living in the past and ht regrets. Wave the white flag.