Grats

I am grateful:

1. I got through yesterday.
2. And wasn’t even miserable.
3. Relaxed
4. Practiced some piano
5. Did a bit of jigsaw puzzle
6. Enjoyed some tv (too much, but still)]
7. Some word puzzles/word games
8. Looked up iPad 2. Thought think won’t spend the money.
9. Started searching out the work “must” in the Big Book. And enjoyed doing that.
10. Will continue.
11. Did not pressure self
12. Had nice little chat with J when he called (although I talk too much.)
13. Have begun to look at something: Do I talk too much? Or too much for him? Is this part of who I am and I should not try to change it? Or is it nervousness and I’d rather change it…Glad to be thinking of that.
14. EJ’s lovely comment on my possible-party post.
15. My mother saw her friend yesterday and they went to their favorite place. Yay.
16. Soon I’ll get to meet M’s new puppy. Yay.
17. Possibly see MA today?
18. Will do laundry today.
19. And cook two things.
20. And straighten kitchen. And that’s all good.
21. No terrorists have gotten me.
22. I healed from that horrible year-long injury. Although I think it cost a LOT in our marriage. But at least I did heal.
23. My online spiritual community
24. My jigsaw puzzle which is nice, and pretty easy but hard enough
25. And which I will break into fourths when finished and share with the kiddies, who will love it.
26. Today’s For Today: “All who joy would win. Must share it. Happiness was born a twin.” Lord Byron
27. That goes with the first two “musts” in the Big Book. Which are both about sharing it. Giving it away. Service.
28. “From my first day of abstinence, I discovered the truth of the saying, ‘I can’t keep what I have unless I give it away.’
29. “What joy there is in telling an OA newcomer or friend or sponsor of the miracles that have come about in my life thanks to OA. I never get tired of sharing ‘what I was like, what happened and what I’m like now.’” And I want to be there someday. Soon.
30. “Even when I have something troubling me that I intend to discuss, I am aware of the gratitude in my heart and I want to express it.
31. “Remembering the joy this program has brought me is enough to lift my spirits;
32. “sharing that with someone brings the joy back to me.
33. For today: here’s a good OA pick-me-up: Call some OAs, including at least one newcomer and one person I have never called before;
34. “give them a nutshell version of why I am so thankful to be in OA,
35. “and then tell all o them how glad I am to have them as fellow members.”
36. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “We give up fear and indecision, knowing that if we are sincere our Higher Power will give us the knowledge of our best course in life,
37. “along with the willingness and ability to follow that course,
38. “even when it seems difficult and uncomfortable.” OA 12 & 12 p. 24
39. “My recovery depends on releasing fear
40. “and trusting god.
41. “Intellect and self-will demand attention if I let them.
42. “I feel incredible serenity when I turn to God instead.
43. “Decisions are made.
44. “Clarity and wisdom flow through me.
45. These things only happen as I practice Steps Three and Eleven in my life.
46. “Only then can I keep my precious abstinence.”
47. Last year I wrote on that page, “I hope its’ true.” Now, I believe that it is. I’m grateful for that belief.
48. Today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I detach.
“I chose to walk away from my family of origin. Not an easy choice. At first, I felt guilty and disloyal.
49. …”But as uncomfortable as I felt…I knew it was necessary. Living by my own values and integrity is the best way to protect my children and myself
50. “Detachment is a necessary and loving thing to do.”
51. And this helps me understand what J. did with his family of origin for those years.
52. And even what he’s done with me, albeit for different reasons.
53. Today’s Language of Letting Go: “Awareness
54. “When we first become aware of a problem, a situation, or a feeling, we may react with anxiety or fear. There is no need to fear awareness. No need.”
55. That’s important. And it goes on to say, “Awareness is the first step toward positive change and growth. It’s the first step toward solving the problem, or getting the need met,
56. “the first step toward the future. It’s how we focus on the next lesson.
57. “Awareness is how life, the Universe, and our Higher Power get our attention and prepare us for change.
58. “The process of BECOMING CHANGED begins with awareness.
59. “Awareness, acceptance, and change – that’s the cycle.
60. “We can accept the temporary discomfort from awareness because that’s how we’re moved to a better place
61. “We can accept the temporary discomfort because we can trust God, and ourselves.
62. “today, I will be grateful for any awareness I encounter. I will display gratitude, peace, and dignity when life gets my attention.
63. “I will remember that it’s okay to accept the temporary discomfort from awareness because I can trust that it’s my Higher Power moving me forward.”
64. My Higher Power.
65. The old sitcom, “Good Times.”
66. I just put a load of laundry in.
67. I just found that I have all the ingredients I need for the Such Yummy Soup. Yay
68. And I know I have all the ingreds. for the Complete Meal Veggie Bake.
69. And for the vegan “chicken” cacciatore too.
70. I will cook today.
71. I am eating a healthy breakfast right now.
72. I will get to take my mother to the bank and shopping tomorrow.
73. And then maybe I’ll even cook some more.
74. I shall be abstinent today, with God’s help.
75. Nice talk with sponsor this morning.
76. And M. too.
77. Talking with MA right now.
78. MA says it’s beautiful out.
79. Sitcom Will & Grace
80. Gonna see MA later. First will do more laundry and cook 2 – 3 things. Good.
81. Will shower and dress nicely and fix hair and a little makeup. Good.
82. Breathing well. Good.
83. Didn’t give in to the temptation/offer to go to MA’s right now. Will do the things I must first.
84. And even enjoy.
85. That so many people looked at my blog yesterday. That made me feel so good. I hope it helped someone(s)!
86. Affirmations
87. That I’m doing the gratitudes daily.
88. That I *think * I will call J. about picking up doggie today. Okay.
89. And that would mean I *have * to walk a bit this weekend too. Okay. Good.
90. I am about to take my Claritan and vitamins.
91. That I have both.
92. That my pharmacy delivers.
93. And keeps my credit card on file there.
94. J’s envelope thing. When I was jealous, decades ago. And he gave me an envelope with pink trim. And said if I’m jealous of someone else’s life, to remember that if I were able to trade with their life, I would have to trade with their *whole * life. And you never know what *else * is inside that envelope. This memory makes me miss him very much, and wish I’d shown more appreciation consistently every day throughout the years and really learned and internalized that lesson, but it’s also still good for jealousies.
95. Too much coffee this morning. So too jittery. BUT using it to get stuff done.
96. AND maybe learned lesson about it for future.
97. The party we had with the hot cider in the crockpot.
98. And doggie’s special party bow.
99. Maybe more parties in future.
100. My new earrings.