CoDA Work This Morning

Thank you, God, for this day.

I woke up and I feel:

Anxious, vulnerable, sad, unhappy, imprisoned, deflated, encumbered, defeated, regretful, estranged, dreadful, neglected, jealous, downcast, shaky, tense, ill, defective, disconnected, worried, desolate, alone, defective, frightened, jilted, depressed, low, lonely, abandoned, startled, upset, bruised, unloved, unhealthy, hateful, terrified, dejected, bruised, upset
AND
Humble, broken, powerless
AND
Blessed, grateful, sacred

I think it is because:
I cannot believe J. married me, and said a million times, "I love you very much," and laughed *with * not at me about my insecurities, and said things a million times like, "I've found one person I want to be with forever - I married her," ... ... ... and left me and doesn't want to be with me anymore.
And I think, is being convinced with that therapist that he never loved me.
I cannot control my eating, so I am broken and humble and powerless.
And I still believe in God, and have many fortunes, so blessed, grateful, and kind of somewhat sacred.

Please help me with these things, God. Thank you.