Grats

I am grateful:

1. Life
2. Chances
3. Breath
4. No fever. Thought I had one. Don’t
5. The book Koko’s Kitten, which I will continue sharing with the two classes today.
6. That I finished report cards on time.
7. That I found the couch cushion.
8. That I will be able to replace the eye drops.
9. That I don’t think J. is necessarily finished with me.
10. That I will also hang onto that hope to get me through for now.
11. That today I can eat well.
12. That I might see my mother and her best friend for dinner this evening.
13. The 12 step program and what it did for J.
14. How I used to go with him and his friends.
15. The blanket that’s on me right now.
16. I’m not cold. That’s good.
17. That I got my CoDA 9-month coin yesterday.
18. Yesterday’s Language of Letting Go: “So many of us have been brainwashed to think that we can’t have what we want in life. That is the belief of the martyr. It is born of deprivation and fear.”
19. And for me, it was born of the particular kind of Catholicism with which I was raised. And I shouldn’t have to hold onto it anymore.
20. “Identifying what we want and need, then writing it down, sets in motion a powerful chain of events.”
21. Really? I hope so! That is something to really be grateful for!
22. MA. Her friendship is such a gift to me.
23. “It indicates that we are taking responsibility for ourselves, giving God and the Universe permission to supply our wants and nee.”
24. Okay. That’s awesome. I’m starting to feel a little better just from reading that.
25. “The belief that we deserve to have a change in character, a relationship, a new dimension to an existing relationship, a possession, a certain level of health, living, loving, or success, is a powerful force in bringing that desire to pass.”
26. I need to remember this. I will write it somewhere else too. And that will help me to not lose it.
27. “Often, when we realize that we want something, that feeling is God preparing us to receive it!
28. “Listen. Trust.
29. “Empower the good in your life by paying attention to what you want and need.
30. “Write it down.
31. “Affirm it mentally.
32. “Pray about it.’
33. “Then, let it go. Give it to God, and see what happens.
34. “The results may be better than you think.
35. “Today, I will pay attention to what I want and need. I will take time to write it down, then I will let it go. I will begin to believe I deserve the best.”
36. This morning time, to do this work.
37. That I am able to get up early.
38. That I have the energy to do this stuff in the mornings.
39. Today’s For Today: “Contrary to popular opinion, worldliness, revelry and high life are the enemies of happiness because each of them represents excess – too much of a good thing.
40. “Certainly, it is a good thing to celebrate joyous occasions, to mark the passage of time with festivities; but these events are valued precisely because they are indulged in with moderation. A party every day would mean the total extinction of happiness.
41. “For today: Good and bad times come and go, but the only real and lasting happiness is feeling good about myself.
42. “The first requirement for this condition is abstinence.”
43. TV
44. The times I don’t use tv, but read and enjoy the peace.
45. That today’s Voices of Recovery also refers to exactly what I need. “What we needed now was a way of being abstinent over the long haul and living sanely through good times and bad.” OA 12 & 12 p. 21
46. “When I arrived at the doors of OA, food was my master.” Yes. That’s me.
47. …”If abstinence is to bring aobut a sane and useful way of life, I must have a plan that I can live with forever. The plan must be flexible when the situation warrants, allowing me to commit my food or not, to go places I had avoided, and to eat some foods I had relinquished. Once abstinence has become a habit, these things are all possible.
48. “If I find myself on unsteady ground, I must once again take the actions that worked in the beginning.” “…committed my food to a sponsor daily and abstained from specific foods, eating behaviors, situations, and people who were known triggers. I also attended numerous meetings. Although necessary, these actions put me at the opposite end of the food obsession.”
49. “Today, by God’s grace, I have balance in my life and live in peaceful coexistence with food.” Oh that’s a sentence to be grateful for for sure. May it come true for me.
50. Oh. I need this sentence. Today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I know I have a Higher Power.”
51. “I say a lot of words that sound like I’m turning over my will and my life, but when things go bad, I still want to run the show. At those times, it feels as if my identity and life are dependent on the very things I can’t control. In recovery, I’ve learned to look to my Higher Power for guidance and support.
52. “When stumbling blocks appear in my life, I can trip over them or stand on them to get a better view. It’s my choice.”
53. That I’m getting rid of some of my control-freak stuff.
54. Today’s Language of Letting Go: Talks about person sitting in car with no money and food shelf office closed for days. Single parent…”Actually, most of the time I was happy. I had found my soul in poverty. But now that I had my soul and my self, I wanted some money too.
55. “While I sat in the car trying to compose myself, I heard God speak to me in that silent, still voice that whispers gently to our souls.
56. “’You don’t ever have to worry about money again, child. Not unless you want to. I told you that I would take care of you. And I will.’”
57. “Great, I though. Thanks a lot. I believe you. I trust you. But look around. I have no money. I have no food. And the food shelf is closed. You’ve let me down. Again I heard His voice in my soul: ‘You don’t have to worry about money again. You don’t have to be afraid. I promised to meet all your needs.’”
58. “I went home, called a friend, and asked to borrow some money. I hated borrowing, but I had no choice. My breakdown in the car was a release, but it didn’t solve a thing – that day. There ws no check in the mailbox. But I got food for the day.
59. “And the next day.
60. “And the next.
61. “Within six months, my income doubled.
62. “Within nine months, it tripled.
63. Since that day, I have had hard times, but I have never had to go without – not for more than a moment in time.
64. “Now, I have enough.
65. “Sometimes I still worry about money because that seems to be habitual. But now I know I don’t have to, and I know I never did.
66. “God, help me work hard at what I believe is right for me in my life today,
67. “and I’ll trust You for the rest.
68. “Help me let go of my fears about money. Help me turn that area over to You, God. Take away the blocks and barriers in my life to financial success.” And *I * say, “God, help me work hard at what I believe is right for me in my life today,
69. “and I’ll trust You for the rest.
70. “Help me let go of my fears about my relationship. Help me turn that area over to You, God. Take away the block and barriers in my life to marital success.”
71. Thank you, God, for the hope.
72. I think I can relax while teaching today.
73. I am grateful for affirmations.
74. And my new book.
75. And that I can walk.
76. And that so much of what I’ve read today is about believing, trusting, letting go and letting God.
77. Little Michelle, who taught me things about computers at school years ago.
78. Lessons I learn from celebrities.
79. That I can drive.
80. Every minute I’ve enjoyed in the water, “swimming.”
81. Our time in Barbados.
82. Our time in Montreal.
83. Our time at Niagara Falls.
84. That I trusted him and went down that horrible elevator and got below the beautiful falls.
85. That I’m not quite as phobic as I use to be.
86. K’s beautiful example of the CoDA progam at work in helping life.
87. And of God at work in helping life.
88. Heat
89. Hot water
90. Phone
91. Electicity
92. Lights
93. Cell phone
94. Gas in the car
95. The car
96. Hope hope hope.
97. Elephants.
98. People who are trying to save the planet. God help them (us) all.
99. The excited laughter of children.
100. The excitement of the children when I plan fun great learning stuff for them.
101. That M’s class loves me too and I contribute to their lives.