Grats

All I have time for now.
Will add more later.

I am grateful:


1. Hope
2. The breath that I do have.
3. Can call sponsor soon.
4. This day will pass.
5. I typed up all those recipes, like 30 pages, for Me. I hope I’m allowed to get them to her, and that she makes use of and enjoys them.
6. God
7. Help from any/every source.
8. That I can walk
9. Talk
10. Work
11. See
12. Hear
13. Toda’s For Today: “You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.” Kahlil Gibran. Oh, God, I promise.
14. …“When practiced daily prayer and meditation become a channel through which consciousness of the presence of God in my life is heightened.
15. “This consciousness not only comforts me in times of stress and trouble,
16. “but it gives new dimensions of peace and contentment to the joy and freedom of recovery.
17. “For today: Prayer can be only ‘Thank you’ – which is as appropriate in my need and distress as it is in my abundance and joy.”
18. I’m grateful for gratitudes.
19. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “Service is its own reward.”
20. And last year I’d written: “How – Why-“ but now I get it.
21. “When I came into OA, I thought that service givers were an elite class of people, and I had to earn my place among them. I also thought service was about giving.” And I’d written “me too.” But now I get that too.
22. “Our tools tell us to ‘give what we have so generously been given.’
23. “I’ve discovered that service is for everyone, and everyone has something to contribute.
24. “Those who give service stay in OA longer than those who don’t,
25. “and relative newcomers who take on even a small service come back to meetings.”
26. Like me being treasurer at that one meeting. I came so close to not taking it, or to giving it up, like 3 times. And I’m glad now, that I have that commitment.
27. “My experience tells me that when I give service, I receive more than I could ever give.” And I’d put a ? there. But now I get it.
28. “When I share my experience, strength, and hope with someone, I often say just what I needed to hear.
29. “I have learned skills I would not have today if I had not given service above the group level. I learned to work in a team and to look for what is best for the whole. I learned to speak in front of people and found that I was good at it. I learned to give workshops and facilitate meetings. Through these new skills, I embarked on a new career. Service has taught me more and given me more than I could ever have given.” Okay.
30. Today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I celebrate.”
31. “In recover, I learn the power of truth.
32. “Denial is no longer in charge of my life.
33. “Instead of running from fear, I learn to fact it, using the tools of the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous.
34. “I learn it doesn’t happen overnight.
35. “I take delight in feeling cared for and respected in my CoDA family.
36. “I am elated by the presence of a Higher Power in my life.
37. “I have more energy.
38. “I celebrate, as I feel the excitement of a full and positive life.”

Okay. Now the rest.


39. ****Today’s Daily OM:” Maybe you are using a desire you can’t fulfill to distract you from truly engaging the blessings you already have.” I am actually doing this during the rest of the Conversation with Koko movie. It’s better than the tears that were starting to come from my eyes right at my classroom desk! Gratitudes gratitudes gratitudes.**
40. And it goes on to say: “When it comes to the things we want, there always seems to be an endless list.
41. “No matter how many times we get something off that list, we add new things to replace it.
42. “In life, this drama of wanting and getting and wanting is all part of the dance.
43. “The things we want motivate us to get up and get them.
44. And it goes on further to say: “And yet, at the same time, we can torment ourselves with our wanting, especially when we want something we can't have or can't find.
45. “It is in cases like these that it might be fruitful to entertain the idea that maybe what you really want is right in front of you.” Big. Big big big.
46. Now the kids have left and I’ll continue at home. Okay. I’ve been home for a long while. I’m grateful that M. invited me for dinner tonight. Even though she had to cancel because went to dr. not feeling well.
47. And I’m kind of grateful she canceled. I would have been better off going, but I’ll just chill. And it’ll be fine too.
48. Okay. That thing goes on to say: “Maybe you are using this desire you can't fulfill to distract you from truly engaging the blessings you already have.
49. “It may seem like that doesn't make sense, yet we do it all the time. It may be easier to see in other people than to see it in ourselves. We have all heard our friends wishing they were more this or less that, and looking at them we see clearly that they are everything they are wishing they were.
50. “We know people who have wonderful partners and yet envy you yours. We wish we could give these people a look at their situations from our perspective so that they could see that what they want really is right in front of them. It's not too far-fetched to consider that we might be victims of the same folly.
51. “It can be scary to have what we want.
52. “We get caught up in the chase and forget to enjoy the beauty right in front of us—like a child who never wants the toy she has in her hand but always the one just out of her reach.
53. “Take a moment today to consider the many things you are holding in the palm of your hand
54. “Take a moment today to consider the many things you are holding in the palm of your hand.
55. “and how you might best play with them.”
56. Today’s Language of Letting Go:…”Our sexual energy may be blocked. Or for some of us, sex may be the only way we learned to connect with people. Our sexuality may not be connected to the rest of us; sex may not be connected to love – for ourselves or others.
57. …”some of us may have gotten involved in sexual codependeny: not paying attention to what we wanted, or didn’t want, sexually; allowing ourselves to et involved sexually because it was what the other person watned; shutting off our sexuality along with our other feelings; denying ourselves healthy enjoyment of ourselves as sexual beings.
58. “Our sexuality is a part of ourselves that deserves healing attention and energy.
59. “It is a part of us that we can allow to become connected ot the whole of us;
60. “it is a part of us that we can stop being ashamed of.
61. “It is okay and healthy to allow our sexual energy to open up and become healed.
62. “It is connected to our creativity and to our heart.
63. “We do not have to allow our sexual energy to control us or our relationships.
64. “We can establish and maintain healthy, appropriate boundaries around our sexuality.
65. “We can discover what that means in our life.
66. “We can enjoy the gift of being human beings who have been given the gift of sexual energy, without abusing or discounting that gift.
67. Today, I will begin to integrate my sexuality into the rest of my personality.
68. “God, help me let go of my fears and shame around my sexuality.
69. “Show me the issues I need to face concerning my sexuality.
70. “Help me open myself to healing in that area of my life.”
71. That books exist that discuss everything about humans and problems and needs…
72. Magazines
73. A really great talk with my sponsor yesterday morning.
74. And today too.
75. The idea to look for the 60-something “musts” in the big book.
76. And I got a different colored highlighter to highlight them.
77. The adorable second grader who said, “We got our turkey two days ago. So it’s already a chicken.”
78. And the other 3 who didn’t respond at all as if they made no sense.
79. The adorableness of their developmental reality.
80. The amazing relief – so strong – that because I’ve been under the weather and coughing a lot all week, my mother will go with her best friend tomorrow, and I won’t have to worry about her being alone, or about what to do about her not knowing…BIG relief.
81. Maybe I’ll clean this weekend?
82. Or at least straighten?
83. I know I’ll cook some.
84. And do some laundry.
85. Rest tonight.
86. And even computer games.
87. And even tv.
88. It’s fine. And I just practiced piano. Yay.
89. Bach. I love it.
90. Caring that much about my mother and her no suffering, is a sign that J. is NOT *all * I care about.
91. There is hope for *my * future.
92. My feet. They’re comfy and they work and they’re even pretty.
93. Saving a little bit of money.
94. The furnace. Yes, I’m still grateful for the furnace.
95. And as always, for water.
96. And for Birdie and her comment yesterday.
97. I’m so grateful that I can type.
98. And so quickly.
99. And that I’ve loved it since high school when I took it and shined so.
100. And that people in offices have always made such a scene over my typing.
101. And in schools too.