God,
I am suffering so much right now.
Not judging it.
Still gonna keep doing the work.
The furnace company, very well-reputed, found so much wrong. But J. was a big help and we are doing the minimally expensive way - for now.
Meanwhile, hearing him on the phone with me, being helpful but so - foreign. Like, "blah blah blah and your house will have heat. blah blah blah you may have to bleed it once in a while in the future..." so not here. So sure not want to be here.
So since I'm stuck home today while they work, I'm getting lots of report cards done.
In needing a break from them, and feeling lonely, I went onto facebook just to see my home page.
I *never* look at his! Afraid to.
But is said 1 of my contacts was on and it was him. So I said hi. Then he was gone.
So I stupidly did it.
I looked at his homepage.
He has changed his profile.
I do not exist.
I should not be surprised.
But I am devastated.
Please help me, Father.
Please help me to do what is right.
And please help me to feel better.
Please help me.
Please help him and help me and please help us.
God help me.
Amen.
We are without heat right now. In fact the air conditioning is blowing and can't be turned off. I am awaiting a service person as I type this.
ReplyDeleteAnd oh, sweet woman. I am sorry for your hurting. I know that feeling. Like the wind has been knocked out of you. Like life is being sucked from your body. You will recover. You are a strong woman.
Yes, that's the feeling! Thank you for knowing. And for saying so!
ReplyDeleteI will say a prayer that your heat gets fixed right now!
XOXO