Grats

I am grateful

1. I have TIME now - Time when I lay around and watch TV - I could be: Exercising, Reading, Practicing piano, Doing Step Eight, Going to at least one more meeting a week, Cooking, Cleaning, Even just walking, Yes. Building self for future PLUS will feel better in the moment
2. That the electricity came back on later yesterday
3. That it went out in the first place. Because that helped get me out of here.
4. MA
5. Her house
6. The new book I bought
7. That I started reading it
8. That it is inspiring me to practice piano again
9. That the district has agreed to pay for my classroom piano to get repaired. Yay. It is a good piano, with a beautiful tone, but many of the keys were not working and getting worse all the time. I’m so glad they’re doing it. I should have it back (the internal workings) within 2 weeks. Yay.
10. My piano here.
11. That I am able to practice now (thumb). Must start small. Dr. said.
12. Am going to go do some right now.
13. My decision about the next few months, which I will explain in a journal post.
14. A great talk with my OA sponsor yesterday
15. Will get to see my CoDA sponsor today.
16. That I did a little Step Eight work today. Breaking the ice again there.
17. I did stop and practice! Wish could do more but dr. said important to go slowly. Did a little Bach. Oh I love that piece.
18. Beautiful, in today’s For Today: “As I watched the seagulls, I thought, ‘That’s the road to take; find the absolute rhythm and follow it with absolute trust.’” Nikos Kazantzakis
19. “Compulsion is self-will gone berserk.”
20. I *will * go to the OA meeting today.
21. “It [compulsion] is the polar opposite of effortless abstinence – of being in harmony with the rhythm of the universe, ‘going with the flow,’ letting go and letting God.
22. “When I surrendered my compulsion to God, I found the absolute rhythm and followed it with absolute trust.
23. “It is as close as a human being can come to being a part of nature.
24. “In speaking of her experience of surrender, an OA recalls sensing rather than hearing a kind of music that seemed to be made by all of nature’s elements - herself included – acting in harmony.”
25. That I have decided – finally – to surrender.
26. “For today: There is more to be experienced in surrendering my life to a Higher Power than I can ever imagine.”
27. The note I wrote on that page last year: “& all the time/energy spent on the compulsion, I wasn’t spending on other areas of life!”
28. And on the whole page, I’d written: “Wow!”
29. And that next year is likely to feel different, at long last.
30. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “In OA we have no program of diets and exercise, no scales, no magic pills.
31. “What we do have to offer is far greater than any of these things – a Fellowship in which we find and share the healing power of love.” OA 12 & 12 p. ix
32. “What, or who, is the ‘power greater than ourselves’ that ‘could restore us to sanity?’ If it is simply God, why haven’t we been able to pray and have our compulsion to overeat removed, our sanity restored?”
33. I know for me, my other compulsion – J – has also interfered. So as much as I hate it, I do need this time. To grow.
34. Why is it necessary to attend OA? Surely part of that answer is in the word ‘Fellowship.’
35. “In the OA Fellowship, face-to-face with others who have shared our suffering, we find the power we need to recover.”
36. I will get there today. God, how I don’t want to drive there. How I wish J. were taking me. Or, for that matter, anyone. But I *will * do it. I will. I must and I will.
37. And I’ll go to lunch with them too. And have broccoli.
38. “OA is where we are buoyed by the shared experience, strength, and hope of other compulsive eaters.
39. “OA is where we can give this supportive love to others who suffer from this disease.
40. “Such giving is essential to our own recovery.
41. “Solitary reflection, prayer, meditation, reliance on God . . . all of these are vital to us.
42. “But so is the OA Fellowship, where we find ‘God with skin on’ at every meeting.”
43. I needed to “hear” that today.
44. That I just had a small, healthy piece of Enchilada Casserole for breakfast.
45. And that I posted the recipe on my blog
46. Weboggle
47. Today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I’m procrastinating. My procrastination seems unrelenting. Right now I’m writing about my recovery, which is a good thing.
48. Much later now. I went to the OA meeting.
49. It was fabulous.
50. Then we went to lunch.
51. Very very nice time with friends.
52. One even invited me for Thanksgiving. I won’t be able to, I’m sure, because of my mother, but how nice!
53. Then K. called
54. And – just as I was sitting here getting depressed, she said she wanted to invite me to a movie.
55. And I went.
56. And although I had no desire to see that movie, but went for the girlfriends-at-the-movie-aspect of it, I loved it.
57. And O. called
58. And we had a nice talk too.
59. And then A. called back to repeat about Thanksgiving…
60. And she had talked with her ex, at whose apartment they’re having it.
61. And he’d said yes. Nice.
62. And – she said it would be good for *her * if I went too. Nice.
63. My sponsor was at the meeting. Isn’t always. So good to see.
64. Then I went to CoDA meeting.
65. And it was *great! *
66. And now I’m home.
67. And although my throat/cough/sweaty stuff was troublesome a bit today, it’s not now!
68. And I had a cup of hot tea. Nice.
69. And there were two new people at the meeting.
70. And I liked them both.
71. And the meeting is growing.
72. And now I’m “unwinding.”
73. And I’ll get to see the kids tomorrow. It’s nice to think of it that way instead of, “I can’t imagine working tomorrow.”
74. And I’m watching Seinfeld – and – HSN right now.
75. We got to share 3 x at OA.
76. And 2 x at CoDA.
77. I practiced piano this morning!
78. And I didn’t overdo.
79. There is hope for me. There is.
80. And I’m playing weboggle too.
81. And next weekend I should truly get to get this place in order.
82. That I have clean clothes for tomorrow.
83. That I am learning about myself and how to be.
84. That a number of people do like me. Wow.
85. That I can fall asleep at night.
86. That so far I like the temperatures I have the new programmable thermostat set to
87. That I think J. isn’t so sure.
88. That I am more accepting.
89. That this Coda meeting has such a positive, light tone to it.
90. My box of feelings magnets.
91. That my sponsor lent me the Cleopatra book today. Whether I’ll read it or not.
92. That I have a bed
93. That I have some steps. Or I’d never walk on any.
94. That I took two little walks toda
95. Comedians
96. Lovely lights across the main street nearby. Cheerful.
97. And that they are snowflakes. This way no one’s religious beliefs can be offended.
98. The Statue of Liberty.
99. And that my Noni saw it from the boat on which she came over.
100. That I don’t have dyslexia.
101. That I got to a hundred.