Grats

I am grateful:

1. That I haven’t killed myself.
2. That I shower or bathe daily.
3. That I can see.
4. That I did the breathing game with the kids yesterday.
5. That they had such a great morning.
6. That principal walked in while doing breathing game and joined for a couple of minutes.
7. Working with M’s class
8. Working with a friend (M)
9. My sponsor yesterday
10. That I am free
11. Freedom of religion
12. Freedom of speech
13. Freedom of place – like live wherever, not prison or …
14. My conscience
15. Eyedrops
16. Refresh eyedrops too
17. That MA and I bought the stuff to make a nice care-basket for Ja, who’s scared of her upcoming heart surgery
18. That I will put it together and give it to her today.
19. That I don’t feel even worse.
20. Today’s For Today: …”Human history shows that, individually and collectively, those who are overly impressed with their knowledge may have closed their minds to anything new.
21. “The assumptions of knowledge is incompatible with humility, which is the state of being teachable.
22. ‘We know only a little,’ states the Big Book; and ‘more will be revealed to us.’
23. “In this program, it is suggested that we put aside our knowledge and keep an open mind.”
24. And I’m sure, in CoDA too.
25. “For today: I may know what I think I know, but I can put it aside for what I have yet to learn.”
26. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “…immature love tries to possess and control.” Overeaters Anonymous p. 245
27. “How many times have I become a controlling person?
28. “My life revolved around demanding that everyone do things my way
29. “and becoming obsessed with the ‘right’ way.
30. “Then when that didn’t work, I would become so submissive…”
31. “I was led into many intolerable events just to please someone else.
32. “This program of recovery helps me to discover myself.” Please.
33. “As I have learned my own real needs, I have been able to enter into true, sharing relationships.” Oh may it be true.
34. “By developing a mature love with my Higher Power and becoming a friend to myself, I can distinguish the boundaries between my will and God’s will.” Really? Is that possible? I hope so.
35. “Now choices are more blended into the question of ‘How important is it to my recovery?’” I guess that makes sense.
36. “The action of the program principles keeps me focused one what is vital for each moment.”
37. Today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I take care of myself.
38. “I stand up for myself.
39. “I speak my truth.
40. “Saying ‘no’ allows me greater freedom to say ‘yes’ to what is important to me.
41. “I do what I say I will do.
42. “I set appropriate boundaries.
43. “I follow through.
44. “I accept responsibility for myself and meet my intrinsic needs.
45. “I am committed to my program
46. “and myself.”
47. That I’m still trying. Miserable, terrified, but still trying.
48. Today’s Language of Letting Go:
49. “The Twelfth Step says that having hsad a spiritual awakening, we try to carry this message to others.
50. “Our message is one of hope, love, comfort, health –
51. “a better way of life,
52. “one that works.
53. “How do we carry it? Not by rescuing.
54. “Not by controlling.
55. “not by obsessing.
56. “Not by becoming evangelists for the recovery cause.
57. “we carry the message in many small, subtle, but powerful ways.
58. “We do our own recovery work and become a living demonstration of hope,
59. “self-love,
60. “comfort,
61. “and health.
62. “These quiet behaviors can be a powerful message.
63. “inviting (not ordering or demanding) someone to go to a meeting is a powerful way to carry the message.
64. “Going to our meetings and sharing how recovery works for us is a powerful way to carry the message.
65. “Being who we are and allowing our Higher Power to guide our actions are powerful ways to carry the message.
66. “often, we find ourselves carrying the message more effectively than we do when we set out to reform, convince, or coerce someone into recovery.
67. “Caretaking and controlling are not ways to carry the message. All those behaviors carry is codependency.
68. “Still, the most powerful form of helping others comes down to helping ourselves.
69. “When we do our own work and are honest and open about it, we impact others more than by our most well-intentioned ‘helping’ gesture.
70. “We cannot change others,
71. “but when we change ourselves, we may end up changing the world.
72. “Today, I will strive to carry the message in ways that work.
73. “I will let go of my need to ‘help’ people.
74. “instead, I will concentrate on helping and changing myself.
75. “If an opportunity comes up to share my recovery with someone, I will do so quietly.
76. “God, help me show others comfort, empowerment, and hope.
77. “I can be a channel to help others when I am ready.
78. “I do not have to force this; it will happen naturally.”
79. Thank God when I’m busy working on something, it keeps me a little sane.
80. I feel good about looking forward to doing the stuff for Ja. Today.
81. I’ll get to call my sponsor in a few minutes.
82. My mother is still alive and well in the day.
83. Hope.
84. Affirmations
85. Some people read this.
86. Maybe it will help someone.
87. Water
88. Food
89. Vegetables
90. Eating better still
91. Ji and all that he did for me, years ago.
92. Breathing
93. Not coughing anymore.
94. The happy morning * I* gave the kids yesterday.
95. My lower arms are pretty.
96. That I learned to type in high school. The only “business” course I took.
97. That the kids are starting to get the math.
98. Kisses. All the kissed I’ve had with J.
99. My teeth. That I have them.
100. My tongue. That it is healthy.