Grats

I am grateful:

1. Doggie with me overnight. So nice to feel her as I sleep
2. Waking up today.
3. I get to work today.
4. I can do some report cards tomorrow, maybe even all, since I’ll be here anyway waiting for the furnace.
5. Good enough food in fridge.
6. Will be eating more beans and less soy protein isolate, more and more
7. Although I wanted more down time, I’m grateful for the number of phone calls I had Sat. night and yesterday. Like 7. It’s much better than the phone never ringing.
8. The beautiful visit I had with J Saturday. I’m so grateful for that.
9. Coffee this morning.
10. Very interesting. Today’s For Today: “Nothing, I am sure, calls forth the faculties so much a the being obliged to struggle with the world.” Mary Wollstonecraft. Again, that means I’m not the only one. AND – using faculties is good for the brain….
11. “Struggles with the world take different forms. Where some people actively engage in combating society’s evils, others fight the battle within themselves. Compulsive overeating is a struggle with oneself. Obsession drives its victims to eat, even as they recoil, weeping in their helplessness.
Once the spiritual remedy is found,
12. “it can be seen that this kind of struggle, too, calls for the the faculties,
13. “sharpening the awareness of danger and fine-tuning the ability to distinguish truth from illusion.” Ouch. But useful to the self and growth, I’m sure, in the longrun.
14. “For today: Struggles of the past are not to be regretted or ignored, but used to live in freedom.”
15. Typing. It relaxes me.
16. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “We discover that we can learn from and work in harmony with people whose personalities we dislike, as long as we focus on OA principles.” OA 12 & 12 p. 203. True. Example D.
17. That today is a horrible anniversary of pain regarding J. But I have changed in a year since that day when I went to O’s crying because he said things I didn’t want to hear. I no longer sit around just waiting. I am in pain, but I take action. (I wish I had then. But growing is better than not, anyway).
18. And it goes on to mention these things, and I’m grateful to be having or working on each”…honesty,
19. “hope,
20. “faith,
21. “courage,
22. “integrity ,
23. “willingness,
24. “humility,
25. “self-discipline,
26. “love,
27. “perseverance,
28. “spiritual awareness,
29. “and service
30. “When placing just one of these principles before a challenging personality or situation, I reach a state of humility and thereby become ‘teachable.’
31. “Bill W. wrote, ‘We alcoholics see that we must hang together, else most of us will finally die alone.’
32. “These principles, when applied, can help us fulfill AA’s legacy and ensure that OA will be here for the next newcomer who stumbles through our door.”
33. Today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I observe. I have a cat named Lily and her kitten named Katy. Lily functions on instincts.
34. “She feeds, grooms, and protects her young.
35. “I learn a lot about instincts from watching this mother cat.
36. “I ask God to help me stay in touch with and trust my instincts.
37. Yesterday’s Language of Letting Go: “It’s okay to be angry, but it isn’t healthy to be resentful.
38. “Regardless of what we learne as children, no matter what we saw role-modeled, we can learn to deal with our anger in ways that are healthy for us and for those around us.
39. “We can have our angry feelings.
40. “We can connect with them,
41. “own them,
42. “feel them,
43. “express them,
44. “release them,
45. “and be done with them.”
46. Boy, I wish I’d known *this * years ago. Anyway, it goes on to say: “We can learn to listen to what anger is telling us about what we want and need in order to take care of ourselves.
47. “Sometimes we can even indulge in angry feelings that aren’t justified. Feelings are just feelings; there is no morality in the feeling, only in our behavior.
48. “We can feel angry without hurting or abusing others or ourselves.
49. “We can learn to deal with anger in ways that benefit our relationships instead of ways that harm them
50. “If we don’t feel our angry feelings today, we will need to face them tomorrow.” Don’t I wish I’d known that back when. But better now than never.
51. “Today, I will let myself feel my anger.
52. “I will express my anger appropriately, without guilt.
53. “Then I will be done with it.”
54. Today’s Language of Letting Go: “Benefits of Recovery. There are two benefits from recovery: we have short-term gains and long-term gains.
55. “The short-term gains are the things we can do today that help us feel better immediately. We can wake up in the morning, read for a few minutes in our meditation book, and feel lifted.
56. We can work a Step and often notice an immediate difference in the way we feel and function.
57. “We can go to a meeting and feel refreshed,
58. “talk to a friend and feel comforted,
59. “or practice a new recovery behavior, such as dealing with our feelings
60. “or doing something good for ourselves, and feel relieved.
61. “There are other benefits from recovery, though, that we don’t see immediately on a daily or even a monthly basis. These are the long-term gains, the larger progress we make in our life. Over the years, we can see tremendous rewards.
62. “We can watch ourselves grow strong in faith, until we have a daily personal relationship with a Higher Power that is as real to us as a relationship with a best friend.
63. “We can watch ourselves grow beautiful as we shed shame, guilt, resentments, self-hatred, and other negative buildups from our past.” Wow. That’s a biggy. Oh I hope for that one. And it *is * like a promise here.
64. “We can watch the quality of our relationships improve with family,
65. “friends,
66. “and spouses.
67. “We find ourselves growing steadily and gradually in our capacity to be intimate and close,
68. “to give and receive.
69. “We can watch ourselves grow in our careers,
70. “in our ability to be creative,
71. “powerful,
72. “productive people,
73. “using our gifts
74. “and talents
75. “in a way that feels good
76. “and benefits others.
77. “We discover the joy
78. “and beauty
79. “in ourselves,
80. “others,
81. “and life.” Wow.
82. “The long-term progress is steady,”
83. This is giving me hope.
84. “but sometimes slow, happening in increments and often with much forward and backward movement.
85. “Enough days at a time of practicing recovery behaviors and piling up short-term gains
86. “leads to long-term rewards.
87. “Today, I will be grateful for the immediate
88. “and long-term rewards of recovery.
89. “I will have faith that I can achieve the long-term benefits.
90. “If I’ve been recovering for a while, I will pause to reflect, and be grateful for my overall progress.”
91. Breath going all the way down.
92. Gonna remember to take my allergy pill today.
93. Will walk doggie this morning.
94. Will visit mother after work today.
95. Will have 3 healthy meals. Thank God for the healthy food.
96. M got a new doggie.
97. And she finally has found a love in her heart for an animal.
98. And this will be good for her girls too.
99. Blogs.
100. Eyesight.