CoDA Work This Morning

I feel:

Unsure - because my financial future, thanks to the stupid law, is at this point partly dependent on J's integrity
Rejected and jilted by J after we took vows
Unsure, and even a little worried about getting passport - ability to do so. And about above financial stuff
Entangled - with him
Exhausted - sort of in advance, because unsure regarding the things I have to do
Disconnected - from J and even his family a la my dream last night
A little bit shaky about it all
Bothered too

AND
Powerless and welcoming to caring for my body, with God's help

AND
Grateful - for so much
Optimistic - I just feel all will work out for me
Worthy - because God made me
Trusting - somehow I still am. I think J might well do the right thing
Sacred - God made me and is with me
Valued - at work, by principal, colleagues, and many parents
Glorious - I'm part of something bigger - and it is God and collectiveness with people and the universe
Blessed - to have so much
Fortunate - in a million ways - body, job, home, abilities, accomplishments, etc.
Renewed - to *do* my life. *Live* my life
Somewhat secure - despite it all
Somewhat energized - to have a great week off. And I don't have the amount of cleaning to do that I had in Dec.
Unencumbered in a way. Because so far in my life, I *do* manage to do what need

Calm - Amazingly, surprisingly, gratefully calm!

Fulfilled - inside ME! (I can hardly believe I'm able to feel/say these things!)

Healthy - just do
Alive - because am, and can feel it now
Better - than I was last year at same time!!!! And even two months ago!
Sane - because I am
Gifted - in some ways, like fast thinking, fast typing, empath, language, piano, open-mindedness, creativity, so attuned to other dimension like meditation and reiki - such a quick response - so in touch internally with what my body needs

Five good things about me:
1. I am brave
2. I am now positive. I am actually a positive person.
3. I made that change myself. It was hard and I did it.
4. I'm planning my own trip to England!
5. I'm doing French homework. Have found things enjoy! And am doing them!