Grats

I am grateful:

1. The saying, “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” Vince Lombardi
2. Art program today.
3. French lesson today! It was great.
4. And it turns out, I did more homework than I’d had to.
5. And read two child’s picture books. Adorable. Needed some help but die it.
6. And 3 paragraphs in a high school workbook. Only 1 pronunciation mistake, and translated them both! Granted, there were lots of cognates, but still, lots of the words weren’t.
7. She thinks I’m doing great.
8. And so do I.
9. And I look forward to it. I am so grateful to have this thing that I look forward to each week!
10. And I just love the sound of this language: )
11. I even look forward to doing my French homework.
12. And – it’s something to do other than tv
13. And – I’m reading one of the picture books to my class – in French – and it’s so good for their inferencing! Plus it’s about a sleepover. They all have feelings about that…
14. Although the reason was awkward, I got doggie for an extra night!
15. I took the garbage out this morning. Really didn’t want to. But just did it.
16. And I – kind of – believe they’ll take it.
17. M’s little daughter was doing and loving the project I bought her, yesterday
18. The J. dreams. I know. I know. But it’s nice that in the dreams he is not rejecting me.
19. And – I think those dreams mean something. If not about him, then at least about me.
20. I do like my morning time. Most of my life I did NOT like being up while the world around me was asleep. Because that was too reminiscent of schizophrenic-mother-is-up-and-everything’s-upside-down. But at one point in high school I liked it. And I really like it now. Yay.
21. Farm trip today. This is a vegan’s nightmare. Literally. As in, had nightmares just last night about it. But grateful because we’ll all be getting fresh air.
22. And maybe some kids will fall in love with some of the animals and it will make them think someday. I know not everyone agrees with veganism, but maybe it will at least make them think about treatment…
23. I did M the big favor yesterday of taking both classes for more fairy tale rap practice. I SO didn’t feel like at the time. But I’ve never seen her the way she is right now with what she’s going through. She literally closes her eyes when trying to express self, is on edge tremendously, and frequently looks like she’s about to throw up. At the mention of the time without her girls (by her – I wouldn’t bring it up), she cries. So I did it. And I’m glad I did that for her.
24. And – it wound up being our best practice yet!
25. They behaved beautifully.
26. They did it well.
27. We all had fun.
28. I think one rehearsal in rows, and we’re ready to tape!
29. I’m grateful for the first secret valentine thing I received yesterday! It’s hysterical!
30. And – it inspired me to add some really nice, lighthearted, hysterical things for my secret valentine.
31. And I already did some this morning! : )
32. Jo told me yesterday she was thinking of me this weekend and hoping I was lighting my fireplace, or a candle, or opening a bottle of wine…treating myself. And almost wrote a few times.
33. Coloring
34. My feelings magnets.
35. K.
36. Laughter
37. OA Sponsor
38. Spinach. Frozen and fresh.
39. Water.
40. Flavored seltzer type things.
41. That I don’t drink soda, regular or diet
42. Or eat plates of white pasta (both make me jittery)
43. The kids were happy yesterday
44. We did a fun project at the meeting
45. I didn’t feel inferior.
46. Buddhist saying: No inferiority. No superiority. No equality.
47. I won’t have a prep or a lunchtime today. So I asked for a switch. I’m grateful I asked. We’ll see what happens.
48. This, from For Today: “I listen to all who speak at meetings because I can never know in advance when someone will say just what I need to hear.”
49. That I *have * been seeking to improve my conscious contact with God as I understand God.
50. That my OA sponsor keeps using the word, addict. I hated that word and even thought it didn’t apply to me. But it does explain some of my problems, a personality type…I’m glad to be starting to face it.
51. I’m grateful for every time I’ve meditated with a class.
52. Buddhism. If I just follow that, all is well. Paraphrased badly: 1) There is suffering in existence. 2) I am the cause of my own suffering. 3) There is a way out of the suffering. 4) This is the way out: the 8-fold path.
53. The 8-fold path, including Right view (perspective). Seeing things as they really are.
54. Right intention. Aspiring to rid selp of qualities know to be wrong and immoral. Freedom from ill will. Harmlessness.
55. Right speech. Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, and from idle chatter.
56. Right action. Not acting in ways that would be corrupt or bringing harm to oneself or to others. Abstaining from taking life, abstaining from stealing, abstaining from unchastity.
57. Right livelihood. Not doing business in weapons, or human beings (like buying and selling persons, or prostitution), or meat or intoxicants or poisons or toxins designed to kill.
58. Right effort. Make a persisting effort to abandon all wrong and harmful thoughts, words, and deeds. Persist in giving rise to what would be good and useful to self and others, in my thoughts, words, and deeds, without a thought for the difficulty or weariness involved.
59. Right mindfulness. Keeping mind alert to phenomena that affect the body and mind. Be mindful and deliberate, making sure not to act or speak due to inattention or forgetfulness. Putting away greed and distress with reference to the world
60. Right concentration. Also known as right meditation. Concentrate on object of attention (could be breath) until reaching full concentration and a state of meditative absorption.
61. And, the acquired factors: Right knowledge and right liberation.
62. Right knowledge: Seeing things as they really are by direct experience, not as they appear to be, nor as the practitioner wants them to be, but as they truly are.
63. And as a result of that, right liberation: this is where self-awakening occurs and the practitioner has reached the pinnacle of their practice.
64. That I just did this “review.”
65. That I may get to read the 5 Mindfulness Trainings aloud with M. today.
66. Thich Nhat Hahn: “Nowhere to go, nothing to do.”
67. And what an amazing correlation between program and Buddhism.
68. Like today’s In This Moment: “When I am faced with a painful reality, when i don't like the plan, I reach into my heart and remember my Higher Power's plan is greater than any I could imagine. I ask for help in coming to acceptance. I look to Steps One, Two, and Three, and realize I am powerless. I have made a decision to believe in a Higher Power and I have decided to turn my will and my life over to this Higher Power. In so doing, I am relieved of the pressure to do something. I live in the moment and accept what is.”
69. Today’s Language of Letting Go (see readings) about taking care of selves.
70. Life
71. Breath
72. Voice
73. Ability to walk
74. Ability to see
75. I have had trouble with all of these, and am SO grateful for them now!
76. Job
77. Home
78. Car
79. Heat
80. Coat – ugly but keeps me warm
81. Later today WILL come. I WILL be back from that farm.
82. And then I will have some fun teaching the kiddies.
83. Tv
84. Cell phone
85. Land line phone
86. Digital camera/video recorder use at work
87. Word games
88. Piano
89. Washing maching
90. Dryer
91. Clothing
92. Including bras
93. And undies
94. And shoes. Finally.
95. Regular haircuts
96. And regular gray-coloring.
97. Indoor plumbing. There are people right now who still don’t have this.
98. I *think * they just took the garbage.
99. Makeup. The little I wear but it’s nice.
100. Funny socks. Like Little Miss-match.
101. These are luxuries.