I'm suffering suffering suffering.
Just had an intense therapy session. But at least we got to some stuff that could wind up being helpful.
Hurting so much (emotionally), that it's like scary how bad a person can feel. Like, will I just feel like this forever? It's so not worth it.
But - and this is why I'm writing - *in this moment,* sitting here in my den typing on the laptop with the tv on and dinner at my side, checking e-mails etc., I like this moment.
So again, live IN THE MOMENT. NOT in the fear.
And get to more meetings.
That's what I think for me for now.
and
my doctor gave me strict instructions
to
"STOP TALKING BAD ABOUT YOURSELF AND TO YOURSELF.
That's a big one. Just work on that one now."
And later he added, "And stop putting yourself down when you feel like you 'hate' someone. They've done stuff - it's okay to feel that."
And then he said this one is slightly different but I should work on this too if possible. "Stop being overly judgmental in regard to yourself."
I'll try.
I'll work on it.
Oh, God, help me.
Whenever you speak to yourself ask if you would say that to a friend. Most of us would never, ever speak to another person the way we speak to ourselves. It is hard work though. Go buy a huge pack of Post-it Notes and stick reminders in your house, car and work place.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Sweetie.
ReplyDeleteWill do.
XO!