I don't feel like doing them at all. I *feel like* just lying around and resting. But this morning work has been largely responsible for the changes in me, and I will continue to do it daily.
For Today:
"Love is above all, the gift of oneself." Jean Anouilh
"In order to give the gift of myself, I need to see how I have been avoiding it. There are two ways of doing this. one is to feel that I'm worth nothing, that no one would want me. The other is to make it clear that you ought to recognize how wise I am and follow my advice. Both are protective shells; neither is the best i can give. Giving of myself means giving quality time - listening to another without thinking of what I will say next; listening without giving advice; listening with energy and care; listening so intently as to forget myself. It is in that instant that I give myself to another. For today: Does someone need the gift of myself? I have the ability to give it, regardless of how I feel."
And last year I had written after that ending, a question mark. But I get it now!
--
Voices of Recovery:
"Recovery began for most of us when we got out of isolation nd into an OA group. Here we discovered we were never meant to live alone." OA 12 & 12 p. 109
"There's something about this Fellowship of individuals that has completely changed my life.
I think the spirituality of OA comes from the comforting word 'we,' I'm not alone. I used to find my comfort in food, but it was a lonely, sad kind of comfort. Now my comfort is in this Fellowship.
There's much love in this program. Even if I feel tired and cranky when I walk into a meeting, smiles and hugs greet me. The honest sharing, holding of hands, and praying transform and energize me.
When I can't make a meeting, I can make a phone call. When I can't make a phone call, I can send an e-mail or write a letter to another OAer.
I'm part of a 'we.' In this wonderful program I've found love and understanding beyond my wildest dreams. Thank God for OA.
--
In This Moment:
"In This Moment, I feel young.
As I gaze into the mirror, I envision myself looking radiant and beautiful, in a dress I have not worn for years.
At 65 years old, I am getting better every day! I am so thankful for my attitude in life. My faith in my Higher Power keeps my spirit young. I believe in the healing powers of my daily affirmations.
I haven't outgrown the curiosity of my youth. My curiosity led me to CoDA. Today, it is a joy in my life. I love the people I see there every week. They love me and accept me as I am.
--
The Language of Letting Go
"Letting Go of Those Not in Recovery
We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone we love is not yet recovering.
Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some drank; some used other drugs. Some of us lost control of our sexual behavior. Some of us obsessively focused on addicted people's pain to distract us from our own pain. Many of us did both: we developed an addictive behavior, and distracted our ourselves by focusing on other addicted people. We did not know there was a bridge. We thought we were trapped on a cliff.
Then, some of us got lucky. Our eyes opened, by the Grace of God, because it was time. We saw the bridge, People told us what was on the other side: warmth, light, and healing from our pain. We could barely glimpse or imagine this, but we decided to start the trek across the bridge anyway.
We tried to convince the pepole around us on the cliff that there was a bridge to a better place, but they wouldn't listen. They couldn't see it; they couldn't believe. They were not ready for the journey. We decided to go alone, because we believed, and because people on the other side were cheering us onward. The closer we got to the other side, the more we could see, and feel, that what we had been promised was real. There was light, warmth, healing, and love. The other side was a better place.
But now, there is a bridge between us and those on the other side. Sometimes, we may be tempted to go back and drag them over with us, but it cannot be done. no one can be dragged or forced across this bridge. Echperson must go at his or her own choice, when the time is right. Some will come; some will stay on the other side. The choice is not ours.
We can love them. We can wave to them. We can holler back and forth. We can cheer them on, as others have cheered and encouraged us. But we cannot make them come over with us.
If our time has come to cross the bridge, or if we have already crossed and are standing in the light and warmth, we do not have to feel guilty. It is where we are meant to be. We do not have to go back to the dark cliff because another's time has not yet come.
The best thing we can do is stay in the light, because it reassures others that there is abetter place. And if others ever do decide to cross the bridge, we will be there to cheer them on.
Today, I will move forward with my life, despite what others are doing or not doing. I will know it is my right to cross the bridge to a better life, even if I must leave others behind to do that. I will not feel guilty, I will not feel ashamed. I know that where I am now is a better place and where I'm meant to be."
And that is me. Today. Wow.
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