100 Gratitudes Toay

I am grateful:

1. Talked to mother last night
2. Will see her today
3. Will pick up O’s gift today
4. J’s been nice
5. Will start cleaning today
6. Will fill car today
7. Will do bit of laundry today
8. And OA meeting too. Good
9. I’m grateful for kale
10. And ongoing, though slow, weight loss.
11. Oh, today’s For Today. The first line. *Exactly * what I was *just * thinking of!: “Never be in a hurry;
12. “do everything quietly
13. “and in a calm spirit.
14. “Do not lose your inward peace for anything whatsoever.”
15. These are reminding me more and more of Thich Nhat Hahn’s teachings. And I’m grateful for that.
16. “Do not lose your inward peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.
17. “Commend all to God, and then lie still and be at rest in His bosom.” St. Francis de Sales
18. “Inward peace is not easily come by for a compulsive overeater.” That’s me, and so I’m grateful to see it here.
19. “Stuffing down anxiety and fear with food gives an illusion of calm, but food as an anesthetic has the shortest lifespan of all the addictive substances.” Wow.
20. “How then, do I maintain inward peace? The same way I remain abstinent – by giving everything to God:
21. “by giving everything to god: my fears,
22. “my worries,
23. “my life.” Wow
24. “I abandon all efforts to control,” Wow
25. “to force life to conform to my will.” Oh my.
26. “And I rest as peaceful as an infant in its mother’s arms.” Well *that’s * quite a promise.
27. “For today: The twelve-step program might well be called a set of instructions for finding
28. “ – and keeping – inward peace.” Okay. Will keep doing…
29. “Denial of the truth leads to destruction.” OA 12 & 12 p. 6
30. “When I first came to OA, admitting I was a compulsive overeater was a big step toward my recovery.
31. “What about today?”
32. “Have I said the words ‘I am a compulsive overeater’ so many times that they have lost their meaning for me?” Wow. Yeah.
33. “I used to keep in mind that while I’ve been recovering in the OA rooms, my disease has been doing push-ups out in the hall.
34. “My compulsion to overeat is cunning, baffling, powerful” yes it is
35. “ – and patient.” Yes
36. “If I am wanting to eat inappropriately or to overeat, it will do me no good to deny to myself what’s going on or seek to hide it from others.” Oh. Yes. I should call someone when that happens.
37. “That kind of egotistical pride will surely lead to relapse.” Yes.
38. “It doesn’t matter how long I’ve been working the Steps or how many service positions I’ve held or how long I’ve been abstaining or how much physical recovery I have. Today, if I’m wanting to overeat, I need to call someone and talk about it.”
39. “I need to say those humble, magic words I said when I first came to OA: ‘I need help.’
40. “In this way. I admit to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of what’s wrong with me today.
41. “When I stop denying the truth, it loses its power to destroy me.”
42. And back to turn it over to God.
43. Today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, I have shortcomings.
44. “I criticize my husband’s driving. I indulge in self-pity. I hide. I’m envious. I settle for too little. Why am I not ‘entirely ready’ for God to remove my shortcomings? What prevents me from asking God to remove them? Am I afraid of having my life changed? Yes, I dread change. I feel dejected and stuck in a rut, but it’s such a familiar rut.
45. “So I skip over – or trip on – Steps Six and Seven.
46. “higher Power, I need help to become entirely ready. Please, help me to reach out and expand my life.
47. “Help me to overcome my raging codependency.”
48. Today’s Language of Letting Go: “Good Things Coming
49. “Do not worry about how the good that has been planned for you will come.
50. “It will come.
51. “do not worry, obsess, think you have to control it, go out hunting for it, or tangle your mind trying to figure out how and when it will find you.
52. “It will find you.
53. “Surrender to your Higher Power each day.
54. “Trust your Higher Power.
55. “Then, stay peaceful.
56. “Trust and listen to yourself.
57. “That is how the good you want will come to you.
58. “Your healing.
59. “Your joy.
60. “Your relationships.
61. “Your solutions.
62. “That job.
63. “That desired change.
64. “That opportunity.
65. “It will come to you –
66. “naturally,
67. “with ease,
68. “and in a host of ways.
69. “That answer will come.
70. “The direction will come.
71. “The money.
72. “The idea.
73. “The energy.
74. “The creativity.
75. “The path will open itself to you.
76. “Trust that,
77. “for it has already been planned.
78. “It is futile, a waste and drain of energy, to worry about how it will come.
79. “It is already there.
80. “You have it already.
81. It is in place.
82. You just cannot see it!” Yet.
83. “You will be brought to it,
84. “or it will be brought to you.
85. “Today, I will relax and trust that the good I need will find me.
86. “Either through my leadings, or the leadings of others,
87. “all I want and need will come to me when the time is right.”
88. I am grateful for life
89. And breath
90. And voice
91. And home
92. And car
93. And ability to drive
94. And freedom
95. And citizenship
96. And friends
97. And reading with MA. Which will probably be very soon, too.
98. And my job
99. And God. God
100. And forgiveness. The power of forgiveness.
101. And this blog
102. And anyone who sees it
103. And that maybe it will help someone too.