Grats

I'm a little confused. I know I haven't skipped days. Where are they? Hmmm.

I am grateful:

1. Dec. 25 right now. Ability to swallow
2. Coffee in the mornings
3. The sun does come up
4. I can walk
5. My big, old oak tree.
6. Stone steps outside
7. Grass
8. Dirt
9. Breath. Breath. I didn’t always have it. I’m so grateful for breath.
10. Ability to exercise
11. Cheap gym nearby
12. Exercise bands at home
13. And a treadmill too
14. Plus, I can walk
15. And on ww site, there are exercises.
16. And somewhere, I do have little weights.
17. Dec 26 now: I am so grateful for the OA phone marathon that was yesterday and will be today
18. And that I already did the first thing on today’s list.
19. And for that list advice altogether. From MA, who got it from her therapist: Make a list. Do something on the list. Anything. Cross it off. I will be leaning on that this week probably (and maybe beyond).
20. For showering and getting dressed nicely and putting on makeup and driving to get my mother.
21. And going to the place she likes
22. And enjoying our visit
23. And that she did too.
24. And getting to O’s with her special gift.
25. And a nice gift for her mother from Russia too.
26. So in ways, it turned out to be a nice Christmas after all.
27. For the nice dream I had. I’m SO sad that is was but a dream. But maybe it was my psyche’s way of protecting me from constant stress. Grateful for it.
28. In a few minutes, I can call my sponsor.
29. I am grateful for Bach.
30. And that I’m practicing it nowadays.
31. Walks
32. Walks in the woods with J and doggie with her off-leash in front of us. I am grateful I had those.
33. And that she likes swimming. I must find a way to get her some next summer. And I will.
34. People from class (students and parents) giving me gifts. One gave gift from mom, and gift from child. From mom was one thing, from child was stuffed animals and candies. So sweet.
35. WW
36. OA
37. CoDA
38. E-mails
39. Comments on blog. Always so grateful for e-mails and comments on blog.
40. Word games, like boggle and scrabble
41. SMART Board in classroom
42. Piano in classroom – and it got fixed.
43. My mother and I recently sharing things we’ve never shared before.
44. I think I’m ready to be honest with her soon.
45. Maybe it will even be better for me.
46. But I’m also grateful that J was open about not hurting her for Christmas.
47. That the new ww room is bright and cheerful. Not dingy like before.
48. Bright colors, like bright green.
49. That I’m becoming more healthy. Not liking isolating so much. Liking being out and about, walking, driving, talking with others.
50. That counter in our wing, where we gather and talk and sometimes have coffee or tea (or breakfast) for a few minutes before the kids come in, at work.
51. That I get along with the others in my wing.
52. That I just had a great talk with my sponsor.
53. I will walk doggie once or twice today.
54. And cuddle and play with her.
55. And keep OA marathon on.
56. And clean kitchen.
57. And probably bake one protein/veggie bake.
58. And do one load of laundry.
59. And – maybe – see MA
60. And read! I need to read a 500 page book by next week for school! And two chapters of another.
61. I don’t know why, but I feel that I *will * have a life. That I *will * be okay. Even without J.
62. I don’t know what the future brings, but I will keep doing the next right thing.
63. I am so grateful to God.
64. And the cozy time in O’s kitchen while she and her mama were cooking healthy, simple foods for their dinner with her ex-husband, and the house smelled so good, and O was so thrilled with her special present, and her mama kept kissing me and kissing me.
65. And this is the link, if you want to see it. But it’s MUCH prettier in person! Very shiny, and the way the light hits it, I think is why it’s called morph. Sometimes looks wavy…has DEPTH. Inside is shallow – outside is deep. Underneath is the engraving with dot between 12, 16, and 11 for the date of her citizenship. I am not well off and she knows it. But I spend a lot on this. And I’m glad I did. It’s a once in a lifetime thing. http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/item.aspx?mcat=148204&sku=GRP02252&selectedsku=23781999&cid=287465&search_params=s+5-p+61-c+287465-r+101323338-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t&fromgrid=1
66. J’s old coat to keep me warm.
67. I will find my hat. I have my earmuffs. I just need scarf and gloves.
68. God. God is helping me. (God, please continue to keep helping me).
69. For my online spiritual community.
70. And the person who starts it daily.
71. For the show hoarders. I am not anywhere near that extreme, but it helps me get started. And it helps those people too, I think.
72. That I can get out today. I am not homebound.
73. That the past two days I have had such CLEAN eating.
74. Lamps
75. Elephants.
76. Tigers
77. Siberian tigers.
78. That two of my students (that I know of) have gotten to go on safaris.
79. That I have hair.
80. That I’m developing self-respect.
81. That I’m doing my morning work daily, even if I don’t feel like it.
82. Phones
83. Skype
84. That I got to spend that time with the woman from China last year.
85. The Alvin Ailey dancers.
86. That I got to share more with my mother about the musical side of my teaching.
87. And she loved it.
88. And that I got to share with her some of the great things about her as a mother.
89. That I have a home.
90. And a washing machine!
91. That I am free.
92. Quality artisans
93. The times I had in my 20’s, with my piano teacher at the time, at the home of the composer, sitting by her pool, with the chipmunks and rabbits…as she would be in her bathing suit composing operas. What experiences!
94. That I met with Victoria Dreyfus, in her home.
95. And there, I played on a piano on which Chopin himself had played! What an experience.
96. And I have picnicked at Billy Burke’s grounds during a concert.
97. And I have walked, and swam, and loved.
98. And I am not dead yet. There IS more to come.
99. That I am starting to appreciate life.
100. And to take care of myself.
101. And that EJ has been a help with that.
102. And JJ
103. And Birdie

Thank you, Lord.