CoDA Morning Work Today

I woke up (well, barely slept at all), made and had coffee, did grats, readings, dear God, and I feel:

Insecure, lonely, anxious, left out, jilted, shaky, frightened, bothered, rotten, alone, sad, neglected, blue, wounded, unhappy, betrayed, estranged, burdened, envious, overlooked, deflated, abandoned, numb, envious, bewildered, regretful, irritated, angry, confused, dreadful, depressed, unloved, rebuked, incapable, frustrated, undervalued, downtrodden, upset, scared, exhausted, rejected, slighted, bruised, fearful, suspicious, ill

and
Willing, humble, powerless

and
Supported, grateful, hopeful, blessed, healthy, sacred, whole, divine, determined

I think it is because:
J. wants divorce. He was nasty - like angry a bit yesterday. He will see his family tomorrow. I'm afraid of what they'll come up with. I have so much to do and not enough time or energy for it all. I didn't sleep last night. This happened last time, but I was only 29. I don't have the energy for that at 56.

Middle stuff: OA and CoDA

Third stuff: Gratitudes. I know I am very fortunate. I thank God for all my luck. I will try.

Oh boy, 5 good things about me. Oh dear. Um.

1. I do for my mother
2. My friends say I am a good friend.
3. Everyone says I am a good teacher.
4. I am compassionate.
5. I have intelligence.