Gratitudes 100 Today

I am grateful:

1. Thurs. – My mom says her heart test came out fine
2. She *says * she’ll find out more about rehab before totally refusing
3. I got to the used-to-be-phobic mall!
4. And the used-to-be-phobic under thing parking lot. With no troubles!
5. Picked up O’s present
6. Feel better today
7. Talked with MA this am
8. Now it’s Friday: I got the garbage out. Finally. I feel so good about it. Finally.
9. And I went to get coffee. So early. Still dark out. Felt good.
10. And I mailed that check that needed to be nailed. Good.
11. My mom did get home yesterday.
12. I spent about 3 hours on it.
13. Including fixing her pills.
14. And I feel good about it.
15. She was very thankful.
16. I have another chance today. To do something nice for my mom.
17. To get the place cleaner, like hers always is.
18. I had pleasant dreams. Unfortunately I woke up. But they were pleasant, and I’m grateful for those minutes.
19. Also, they might mean something – who knows?
20. I can treat myself really well today. Why not?
21. I should probably get to see MA within a few days.
22. Today’s For Today: “True ambition is not what we thought it was. True ambition is the profound desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God.” Bill W.
23. “My worth as a human being – and, yes, my happiness – is not measured in money or position or in what I own.
24. “it comes from y usefulness to myself and others,
25. “and it is to be found in something no amount of money or prestige can buy: the OA program of recovery.
26. “What price a new quality of thought? Today I am teachable,
27. “with freedom to grow,
28. “to change,
29. “to resolve problems
30. “and feel good.
31. “Where is that for sale? A good day is when I can use my gifts to help another person, and that can’t be bought.
32. “Worldly acquisitions may give me the appearance of feeling good, but that’s all they give – appearance – and today I know the difference.” Wow.
33. “For today: When I get caught up in materialistic values and think that money or position will fix me, I remind myself that neither money nor position could have given me what I received in OA.”
34. How I wish I’d known this before. But at least I’m seeing it now.
35. The First Mindfulness Training: Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I am committed to cultivating compassion and learning ways to protect the lives or people, animals, plants and minerals. I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to support any act of killing in the world, in my thinking, and in my way of life.
36. The Second Mindfulness Training – Aware of suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing and oppression, I am committed to cultivating loving kindness and learning was to work for the well-being of people, animals, plants and minerals. I will practice generosity by sharing my time, energy and material resources with those who are in real need. I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others. I will respect the property of others, but I will prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other species on Earth.
37. The Third Mindfulness Training – Aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct. I am committed to cultivating responsibility and learning ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families and society. I am determined not to engage in sexual relations without love and a long-term commitment. To preserve the happiness of myself and others, I am determined to respect my commitments and the commitments of others. I will do everything in my power to protect children from sexual abuse and to prevent couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct.
38. The Fourth Mindfulness Training – Aware of suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivating loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am determine to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy and hope. I will not spread news that I do not know to be certain and will not criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will refrain from uttering words that can cause division or discord, or that can cause the family or the community to break. I am determined to make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.
39. The Fifth mindfulness Training – Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I am committed to cultivating good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking and consuming. I will ingest only items that preserve peace, well-being and joy in my body, in my consciousness and in the collective body and consciousness of my family and society. I am determined not to use alcohol or any other intoxicant or to ingest foods or other items that contain toxins, such as certain TV programs, magazines, books, films and conversations. I am aware that to damage my body or my consciousness with these poisons is to betray my ancestors, my parents, my society and future generations. I will work to transform violence, fear, anger and confusion in myself and in society by practicing a diet for myself and for society. I understand that aa proper diet is crucial for self-transformation and for the transformation of society.
40. I know there is still some hope with J. A little, but some. The last two times I thought there was none, I was wrong. And now I know. And I’m very grateful for that.
41. I’m also grateful that I no longer quite make him my higher power.
42. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “When we keep OA’s Eighth Tradition, we discover a beautiful spirit of caring service which becomes a powerful factor in our healing.” OA 12 & 12 p. 176
43. “The recovery and growth I’ve received from doin service astounds me.
44. Oh wow: “By sponsoring, I learned how to be in a relationship.” Wow
45. “By leading workshops, I learned how to be a facilitator.
46. “By chairing a committee, I learned how to work on a team and was able to transfer those skills and that knowledge to my family.” (Why can’t I transfer them from work? I guess I can, now).
47. “I learned how to listen and how to compromise for the good of OA as a whole, and so I learned how to listen and compromise for the good of my family or my relationship.” I’d give anything to have learned this sooner. Well, better now than never.
48. “I learned that I don’t have to do it all.
49. “I learned that ‘group conscience’ works in many situations, including work and home.
50. “…I am learning who I really am and who I am becoming.
51. “All of this for the small price of some of my time and energy.
52. “The rewards have been immeasurable.”
53. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “… This holiday season, the most meaningful gift I can give my family is to continue working my recovery program.
54. Today’s Language of Letting Go: “…Not all our memories are pleasant, especially if we grew up in a [dysfunctional] setting. We may not understand why we suddenly feel afraid, depressed, anxious.
55. “We may not understand what has triggered our codependent coping behaviors – the low self-worth, the need to control, the need to neglect ourselves.
56. “When that happens, we need to understand that some innocuous event may be triggering memories recorded deep within us.
57. “If something, even something we don’t understand, triggers painful memories, we can pull ourselves back int tohe present by self-care:
58. “acknowledging our feelings,
59. “detaching,
60. “working the Steps,
61. “and affirming ourselves.
62. “We can take action to feel good.
63. “We can haelp ourselves feel better each Christmas.
64. “No matter what the past held,
65. “we can put it in perspective,
66. “and create a more pleasant holiday today.
67. “Today, I will gently work through my memories of this holiday season.
68. “I will accept my feelings, even if I consider them different than what others are feeling this holiday.
69. “God, help me let go,
70. “heal from,
71. “and release the painful memories surrounding the holidays.
72. “Help me finish my business from the past,
73. “so I can create the holiday of my choice.”
74. Coffee
75. Water
76. Tv
77. Laughter
78. Books
79. Piano
80. Fireplace
81. Car
82. House keys
83. Car keys
84. Breath
85. Time
86. Doggie coming tonight yay
87. Everyone who sees/reads this
88. Sitcom that still makes me laugh.
89. Oak doors
90. I love our doorbell.
91. And our windows.
92. Food in fridge and freezer
93. Water. Water. Lots of water.
94. Breathing more deeply now.
95. A day off. Needed. Good.
96. E-mail
97. K. called yesterday evening.
98. Toast
99. Tea
100. Aunt L.