CoDA

Thank you, God, for this day.

I woke up and I feel:

Ignored, Hindered, Helpless, Lost, Lonesome, Bothered, Unhappy, Upset, Unstable, Left out, Lonely, Amorous, Loving, Frustrated, Fearful
and
Recharged, Willing, Powerless,
and
Grateful, Sacred, Healthy, Wonderful, Blessed

I think it is because:
The first stuff - J., regrets, angers, wishing for another chance, disgusted with what upbringing did to me, so loving and nowhere to put it (romantic love - fine with student love and friend love), my future is totally unknown to me
The second stuff - my new food plan. I've been eating so much better. But I notice what I *think* is a portion can't be right. So my new food plan will help me with that. Because I never really learned how to eat. And now I'm learning. So I know I'm powerless without help, and I'm willing with it and recharged about taking the next step.
The third stuff - All of it is better than despairing! I think my anti-depressant is helping a lot. And I always do know how lucky I am. I have so much. And I am grateful.

I acted out codependently:
Not doing enough for the dog.
Next time I think I'll do differently:
Do more for her when she's here!