Today's Readings

Oh boy. Today's For Today: "An unrestricted satisfaction of every need presents itself as the most enticing method of conducting one's life, but it means putting enjoyment before caution, and soon brings its own punishment." Sigmund Freud

"I thought I was supposed to enjoy every minute. I also thought if I wants something I should have it."
That was me. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

"Pain was to be avoided.
Today I know that the pain of compulsive overeating is worse than any problem I may have to face. I know, too, that it's easy to forget that pain.
Although my life is better than it has eery been," (that gives me hope) "I need a daily reminder that abstinence is the single most important thing in my life. I have paid my dues as a compulsive overeater. Thank God, I am here in Overeaters Anonymous. I never want to go back to where I came from.
For today: I recognize the difference between what I want and what I need. For me, 'first things first' means putting abstinence before anything else."

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Today's Voices of Recovery:

"Alas, it is not enough to want to be rid of the unpleasant side effects of my illness. I need to be willing to give up that which attracts me in the first place: the gratification, sedation, or whatever other payoff I get for practicing my compulsion." For Today p. 132

Ah, true.

"The main payoff I get from compulsive eating is relief from loneliness." Good point.

"As a small child, I sought friendship in food. For as long as I can remember, food has been a companion to console me when i had no one else to turn to, to look after me when I thought no one else cared. My loneliness has decreased since I cam to OA."

I hope that happens for me.

"I learned to replace food with love of myself and of others. I've let go of compulsive eating, one day at a time, for more than nine years. God has replaced food with something incomparably better: a happy, joyous life."

That gives me some hope.
Plus, a year ago today, I had written, "& so i need to not run down the hall away from people." That's how shy/scared I literally was. Now I go out to lunch with them. That is a bit of growth!

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Today's In This Moment:
..."I have learned through CoDA to let things happen in God's time."

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Today's Language of Letting Go
"Getting through the Holidays
For some, the sights, signs, and smells of the holidays bring joy and a warm feeling. But, while others are joyously diving into the season, some of us are dipping into conflict, guilt, and a sense of loss.
We read articles on how to enjoy the holidays, we read about the Christmas blues, but many of us still can't figure out how to get through the holiday season. We may not know what a joyous holiday would look and feel like.
Many of us are torn between what we WANT to do on the holiday, and what we feel we HAVE to do. We may feel guilty because we don't want to be with our families. We may feel a sense of loss because we don't have the kind of family to be with that we want. may of us, year after year, walk into the same dining room on the same holiday,expecting this year to be different. Then we leave, year after year, feeling let down, disappointed, and confused by it all.
Many of us have old, painful memories triggered by the holidays.
Many of feel a great deal of relief when the holiday is ended.
One of the greatest gifts of recovery is learning that we are not alone. There are probably as many of us in conflict during the holidays than there are those who feel at peace. We're learning, through trial and error, how to take care of ourselves a little better each holiday season.
Our first recovery task during the holidays is to accept ourselves, our situation, and our feelings about our situation. We accept our guilt, anger, and sense of loss. It's all okay.
There is no right or perfect way to handle the holidays. Our strength can be found in doing the best we can, one year at a time.
This holiday season, I will give myself permission to take care of myself."

Wow.

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