Grats

I am grateful:

1. “The world breaks everyone. And afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” Ernest Hemingway
2. I did get to the hospital to see my mother last night.
3. She was doing great.
4. I spoke with sponsor this morning
5. She and her roommate are so happy
6. She is not being a pain to the nurses – they love her
7. Maybe I can go to that concert with O tomorrow
8. I’m breathing well today
9. Access to fresh, clean water
10. I get to go to a meeting today
11. My fingers
12. Having begun to appreciate my body
13. Having begun to have some hope for my own growth
14. Having begun to have some hope for my own future
15. Can cook this weekend
16. And do laundry
17. And do some straightening
18. J called and we were nice to each other
19. My mother is doing well
20. I went to ww today
21. It was great
22. And I told leader about my situation and she gave me great materials and some warmth
23. And she told me she’s going through a big life change too,
24. and I said I’d pray for her (she believes in prayer)
25. And hfs
26. And I just had a very healthy lunch
27. I will go to see my mother later
28. I will attend the funeral of the little boy who died and I am grateful that I’ll be able to attend
29. I’m grateful that I even got out of the house this morning
30. Bought two books
31. Expect to light fireplace sometime next week
32. Expect that my life can/will get better and better
33. Maybe I *can * do it.
34. Today’s For Today: “Sometime they’ll give a war and nobody will come.” Carl Sandburg
35. “For compulsive overeaters, recovering in OA, war is a thing of the past.
36. “Before finding this program, we struggled long and hard to be like normal eaters.
37. “The war with ourselves, fought with diets, pills, shots and an array of formidable but useless weapons, brought us to OA’s door.
38. “it was here that we surrendered – admitted we were totally defeated and powerless over food,
39. “that we were not now
40. nor ever could be like normal eaters.
41. “That was the beginning of freedom.
42. “Those wars are, tragically, still being waged.
43. “But we veterans aren’t having any.
44. “We watch with compassion the cruel and needless suffering of our fellow victims,
45. “and work toward the day no compulsive overeater ever again has to die in that kind of war
46. “For today: To keep what I have – freedom from fighting myself and my food –
47. “I lose no opportunity to do twelfth-step work.”
48. And last year I’d written that I’m getting it more and more. And I get it more now.
49. Reading yesterday, that I should realize I’m more than my ego.
50. I am part of a connected spirit.
51. And when someone is on my nerves, I could think, “In spirit,” and change it.
52. Today’s Voices of Recovery: “Those of us who live this program don’t simple carry the message; we are the message.” OA 12 & 12 106
53. “Like much of our literature, in simple language we are given a blueprint of how to convey the most effective message to the newcomer.
54. “It emphasizes our experience, rather than our opinions;
55. “our progress instead of our expertise;
56. “and our trust in the future, rather than our regrets over the past.”
57. I like that it said trust in the future – not hope in the future.
58. Trust. Whatever trust I do have.
59. “The power of the individual example is undeniably one of OA’s greatest assets.
60. “Our stories are full of courage and self-sacrifice:
61. “of hard-earned triumphs and reluctant surrenders;
62. “of embarrassments and inspiring lessons in humility.
63. “Such is the essence of our recovery.
64. “Measured in individual days, OA can offer otherwise hopeless compulsive overeaters a lifetime of opportunities to renew and rebuild,
65. “to grow and change,
66. “and to pass their experience along to the next newcomer.
67. “This process has proven to be a miracle to those of us who have given ourselves over to it completely.”
68. That I ran into K from OA at ww today.
69. And she wants to call me.
70. Today’s In This Moment: “In This Moment, my heart is broken.” Yes
71. “I’ve done it again….
72. “I can’t change another;
73. “I can only change myself.
74. “I need to let go of expectations.
75. “I’m sad, but I know I’m still ‘somebody’ even when ‘nobody’ loves me.
76. “I have the love of friends
77. “and family members,
78. and most importantly, I’m learning to love myself.”
79. And I would add, “And I have Higher Power.”
80. Then it says, “That’s enough to keep me afloat as my heart mends.”
81. Today’s Language of Letting Go: Nurturing Ourselves
82. “Many of us have been so deprived of nurturing that we think it’s silly or self-indulgent. Nurturing is neither silly nor self-indulgent;
83. “it’s how we show love for ourselves.
84. “That’s what we’re striving for in recovery – a loving relationship with ourselves that works,
85. “so we can have loving relationships with others that work.
86. “When we hurt, we ask ourselves what we need to help us feel better.
87. “When we feel alone, we reach out to someone safe.
88. “without feeling that we are a burden, we allow that person to be there for us.
89. “We rest when we’re tired;
90. “eat when we’re hungry;
91. “have fun or relax when our spirits need a lift.
92. “Nurturing means giving ourselves gifts –
93. “a trip to the beauty salon or barber shop,
94. “a massage,
95. “a book,
96. “a new jacket,
97. “or a new suit or dress.
98. “It means a long, hot bath to forget about our problems and the world for a few moments when that would feel good.
99. “We learn to be gentle with ourselves
100. “and to open up to the nurturing that others have to offer us.
101. “as part of nurturing ourselves, we allow ourselves to give and receive positive touch – touch that feels appropriate to us, touch that is safe.
102. “We reject touch that doesn’t feel good or safe and is not positive.
103. “We learn to give ourselves what we need in a gentle, loving, compassionate way.
104. “We do this with the understanding it will not make us lazy, spoiled, self-centered, or narcissistic.
105. “Nurtured people are effective in their work and in their relationships.
106. “We will learn to feel loved by ourselves so much that we can truly love others and let them love us.
107. “today, I will nurture myself.
108. “I will also be open to the nurturing that I can give to others and receive from them.