This Is Good!

I prayed and prayed for strength to "do the right thing by my mother."
And I was nervous and thought I couldn't do it.

But I showered and got dressed up and made up, and she loved that,
and I picked her up and took her to her favorite place that's open and she had her favorite dish.
And they were so nice to her.
And -
we had girl talk.
I mean, birth control, money, ... girl talk.
It was a LOVELY visit at Christmas at the restaurant.

I am so grateful I gave this to her.
But I am also so grateful that *I* had it too!
What a great experience!

Like last week, in the hospital, when we were having that great and special visit, sitting up and chatting away about her memories... friendships...
and she said to me, "I'm really loving this visit." And I said, "I am too, Mommy."

Oh thank you, God.

PS I'm no longer jealous of where J. is today.
Because the truth is, this ISN'T about "future-and-here-I-am-all-alone-because-I'm-such-a-loser." It's about TODAY. And TODAY - I was where there wasn't one person I didn't absolutely love at my Christmas dinner!

Oh, thank you, God.

And now, if O is able, I'll see her and give her her citizenship present.
And a little something for her mother who's here from Russia.

And maybe I'll practice a little piano.
Or read.
Or do another OA phone meeting (all day marathon, today and tomorrow, and next Sun. and Mon. too)
After all, it's MY Christmas too.

Yes, I miss J. and am depressed about the situation. But when I'm out with someone I love it's okay! And when I'm "doing the next right thing."
And I've made my schedule of getting house and car in enough order this coming week too.

Oh, thank you all.
And mostly, thank you, God.